My “Food” Pyramid

Yesterday someone got me started on the need – or lack thereof – for women to have “me” time.

I have ridden the roller coaster of that concept and I believe I have finally found my feet on solid ground when it comes to this issue.  I also believe that many of us are being distracted by one issue, to keep us from truth in another.

Perhaps you may have seen, unsuspectingly, as we did “Ten Things I Hate About You”?  (Not a recommendation for the movie – just a comment)  During one scene, Julia Stiles lifts her top in class to distract the teacher from the antics of another student.  I think that might be what is going on here, as well.  I think we are looking at the issue of “me” time and missing the bigger picture. 

After many years of being a Mommy of Many Littles I remember well craving “me” time.  I can remember times when Jeff would come home from work and I’d hand him a crying baby, hit him on the shoulder and say, “Tag, you’re it!”  I would run as fast and as far from the house as I could.

However, I also experienced some Mommy of Many Middles time, without the Littles, and found that my need for “me” time began to dissipate.  I found that odd, as “me” time should remain a constant if it is such a powerful need, right?

After spending time in prayer and seeking to understand what I experienced, here is what I believe I have seen.  Me time isn’t about getting time for yourself.  It’s about getting time for your soul.  I think it’s a matter soul starvation, rather than a need for time for ourselves.

You see, serving and ministering as a Mom/Mommy/wife is hard work.  (Or it should be – which isn’t the same as exhausting work, I must add)  When we are constantly pouring out the love of the Father upon our household, without re-feeding our souls, it’s no different than trying to nurse a baby without eating food.

We are attempting to nourish our loved ones on weak and insalubrious “food.”  We work too hard to raise and train our children in the Lord, that to make a decision to do it while being soul starved is simply foolishness.

So, what can we do to change that?  What is the best food to feed your soul?  Here is my suggestion for a “Food” Pyramid for your soul. 

The base of the Pyramid is “Time in the Word.”  There is nothing that can take its place.  If we aren’t feeding our souls from the Word of God DAILY, we are depleting all our strength before we even begin.  Many of us have been deceived into thinking that we can go a few days without digging into a plateful of delicious Word food.  (Been there, done that!)  The answer to that is in the statement – we’ve been deceived.

(Pause here for a word from the sponsor.  Part of the deception goes like this, “Wow, there’s so much here in the Word – where do I start?  I don’t even know where I should be reading today.”  Let’s whack that lie down, right where it stands.  When you’re first starting out, it doesn’t matter where you read.  JUST READ.  ALL Scripture is God-breathed and useful…we could stop there, couldn’t we?  Don’t let a lack of a plan leave you paralyzed by indecision.  We don’t need a “to read” list to start into a love letter from our earthly husbands, we read our favorite parts over and over, we start at the beginning sometimes – we read whatever and where ever our hearts wander.  May it be so with our Heavenly husband as well.)

A part of this would be hearing good teaching from the Word.  If you are called to be a part of a church where the teaching isn’t ministering to you, don’t sit back and be upset by it.  If you were hungry, you’d fix yourself something to eat.  Do the same here.  Find something that will minister to you.  There are many pastors that offer free teaching online, so money can’t be a hindrance.

The next two levels of our soul’s “Food” Pyramid are relationship based.  They are time in prayer and worship (You know the song, “Can’t have one without the other!”  They are two sides of the same coin) with our Lord.  And after a good soaking in the Word, how could you KEEP from worshipping Him?  Next to that are several helpings of relationship time with our hubbies.

Now, there are some of you that are going to say, “I don’t want to spend time with him.”  I have been there, done this and I’m telling you (ready?) change how you feel.  (Now, you may feel free to write and tell me, “I can’t do this.”  I will tell you, not only that you can, but HOW.)  Choose to see him as a blessing from the Lord.  Choose to tell him things.  Choose to be the one who makes the effort with that relationship.  Yep, there’s that “C” word I’ve been talking about – choices.  These are all daily choices you must make.

Levels four and five are also relationships – with Sistahs in the Lord and with your children.

Guess what?  You are a Sistah in the Lord.  That means taking care of your mind and body.  It means choosing to get sleep, choosing to eat as well as you can and choosing to minister to your body with exercise.  It means choosing to read things that make you to think.  Your brain needs exercise as much as your body.

Now, before you start telling me you don’t have time, let me tell you – you don’t have time to NOT do these things.  You need to have a mind that is active and engaged.  It doesn’t have to be massive time investments for either.  You can get the physical exercise in, on the fly.  (If you can’t see it, I will tell you how I did it until we had enough of a rhythm that I could recreate a workout time in the morning.  It worked.  Even with the little bits of time I was getting in, I could see the differences.) I did the same with my reading schedule.  Ten minutes a day was all I started with.  AND I asked Jeff to read to me while I was doing my stretching at bedtime.  Three (!)  birds, one stone. 

I think that of all the relationships we deal with, our children are the one area that we have received the most (or do receive the most) instruction on.  You don’t need more from me.  Just love your kiddos.  Our time with them at home FLIES, don’t miss out on enjoying and loving them while they are at home with you.

The top of our “Food” Pyramid is beauty.  Women, we are created in the image of God.  Have you seen His “handwork” recently?   (Malapropism intended.)      We are surrounded by little blooms of color and green leaves popping up all over the yard.  The girls have pots showing green, sitting in our window sills.  All about us are things of beauty.

We, the softer, gentler aspect of the Triune God are intended to not only represent beauty, but to bring it into our homes, into the lives of our children.  Often, we tell ourselves, “I can’t afford to have a beautiful home.” (or some semblance thereof.)  To that I quote my three year old, “Horsefeathers!” Don’t wait until you have enough money, time or whatever your excuse is.

My excuse used to be that I wasn’t going to live in this house for long. Whether I will or not is irrelevant.  I’m not going to stop trying to make things beautiful while we are here.  I represent Christ to my children, to my husband and to those that the Lord brings into my home.  I want to do it well for Him.

Each of us take in – and represent – beauty in different ways, so this isn’t anything anyone else can determine for you.  But, don’t neglect it.  Your soul is crying out for it.

So, next time you feel yourself ACHING to have some “me” time. Check your soul.  Have you fed it well recently?  Have you been in the Word – whether through reading it yourself or hearing it taught on?  Have you been nurturing your relationship with Father? Your hubby?  What about yourself and your Sistahs?  Your kiddlets? And what about beauty?  Does it have a regular place in your life?  If not, then get busy and start feeding your soul.  You will be so glad you did.  And so will your family, who will eat from the fullness of your healthy soul.

(My time today is “off” and I am going to post this, unedited.  If you find a bunch of errors – please extend grace and I’ll fix them later.)