Moms for Modesty – Inside and Out
They have established a Mission Statement:
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Moms for Modesty Mission Statement
- As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.
- I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.
- I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.
- I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.
- I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls’ and young womens clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.
When I read this, I was thrilled. As the mother of 6 girls, I can’t tell you how hard it is to find clothing that meets the standards that we have established for our daughters. (Can someone PLEASE explain to me why any young lady wearing a size 8 (children’s!) needs a matching bra and low hipster panties?! These were given to my daughter as a gift. ??)
However, I must stop and say, that no matter how important I find the need to purchase modest attire for my daughters, the REAL issue, of course, is helping them to be modest of heart.
Growing up, I heard over and over how a woman wasn’t lovely and feminine unless she was quiet and gentle. One of my first school memories is decking a young man square in the nose and leaving him bleeding at the back of the classroom. That doesn’t quite fit the mold of quiet or gentle, eh? (I’m sure this comes as a surprise to all of you – I know I must come off as the quiet and gentle type.) 😉
After we were married, Jeff and I were a part of a Body that was teaching on boisterous women. I suppose, if you were searching for a good word, I might, in a pinch be called boisterous. (The first few times I went to a Clark gathering, I had to take Tylenol, to counteract the headache I received from all the noise….now, I just fit right in.) 😉
One time, in particular, I was sitting with a group of women at a restaurant. The young man, who was our waiter, came up and served our meals. I smiled and thanked him and told him that his mother would be proud that he was serving a table full of mommies who were going out to dinner, for the first time without children. (We had all had babies within a 3 mo span of one another – and now the babies were all 6 – 9 mo…we were all pregnant, as I recall… but that’s another blog, altogether.) As the young man walked away, one of the women said, “You’re very forward with that young man, don’t you think?” I was shocked. Forward?! I stammered, I stuttered and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know – was I?” Suddenly my approach to this young man was under intense scrutiny.
I came home WEEPING to Jeff. “The ladies thought I was forward with our waiter tonight.” I cried to him, I cried to Father and I cried to myself. (Did I mention I was pregnant?) After several days of crying, I finally came to a place of peace. The question Father posed to me was, “What was your heart motivation for speaking to the young man as you did? Was it to draw attention to yourself?” (Amusingly, the next time we all went out, I spoke to the same young man and the same woman commented and said, “You know, you have more joy than any other person I know.” Funny, isn’t it? Once Father had dealt with my heart, her perception of my motivation changed, too.)
Therefore, the standard that we place before our girls for their clothing is: “Why are you wearing that?” Is it to be cool? Is it to be noticed? Is it to draw attention to yourself? Once we have ascertained the heart behind the clothing choices, it’s much easier for us to know how to guide the hearts of our daughters.
I will pause here to confess, as a mom of almost-many, it is VERY hard for me to accurately check my OWN heart when it comes to dressing our daughters. Many times we run into immediate judgement because of the number of children we have. People either assume we must be very wealthy (we’re not) or they assume we’re dirt poor (we’re not). We have known families who have children who dress as though they were standing next to a Goodwill when a gas line exploded. They are mismatched and raggedy-looking. I want to avoid this – not for our glory (“Wow, check out how those Clarks dress their kids.” BLECH) but because I do not want to give anyone the idea that the Lord does not provide – and provide abundantly for us. (Which He does!) I find I face the temptation of getting too many clothes or spending too much money on clothes for the girls. So, my heart is certainly not immune to this and I must keep asking the Holy Spirit to search my motives when gathering clothes for the girls.
By God’s grace, our daughters DESIRE to be modest in behavior and attire. (modest, not silent – they ARE my daughters, remember??) Already, in our 10 yr old, we have seen gifts of beautiful clothing given away, because she knew she would be tempted to sin while wearing it. (I should have been so mature at 10…. I’d have been grateful for that kind of wisdom at 30!) They help one another determine what they desire when choosing clothes that are…wild. 🙂 My beautiful 17 yr old daughter asks her father and brother if anything she has on could cause a brother to stumble. How blessed we are. (This is NOT a matter of reaping what we’ve sown, by the way…this is GRACE, GRACE and more GRACE!)
So, fellow moms who desire modesty for our daughters, let’s shout from the rooftops and call for modesty on the outside – as well as inside. They go together like a horse and carriage….I tell you this, Mother, can’t have one without the other. 🙂 (sort of source?)