I’m so dizzy

I’m so dizzy, my head is spinnin’

Like a whirlpool, it never ends.  (A Whirlpool  washing machine, in my house) 😉

I started blogging about this whole new thing that the Lord is doing in our lives regarding entrepreneurship.  I stopped, you notice.

It wasn’t because what we’re venturing into is a secret (mamaB)  😉 or illegal…it’s just because I can’t seem to put all that the Lord is doing in our lives into words.

There are times I wake in the morning and I feel like I should jump up from bed and RUN full speed ahead into all I need to do.  I KNOW this is not a good thing.  It’s not a sense of fullness and energy, it feels more like a lack of peace.  I do not want to make this trip without peace.

As I have tried to journal about this adventure (and adventure it has been, there is no doubt!) I have been left without words.  I know, I know, a hard thing to imagine, but true none the less.  There are times I sit and stare at this blank paper before me, pen poised….eager to write….and I can’t get the words to slow down long enough to capture them. That wouldn’t be a problem, necessarily, but  I want to make certain I record this.  The things that the Lord has laid on our hearts – the Scriptures that He has impressed upon us – the things that He has done, they are going to be cause for awe in our children and our children’s children.  This is an inheritance I do not want to skimp on!  I want them to read our story and be amazed at the greatness and utter FULLNESS and BIGNESS and GODNESS of our Lord.

This weekend Jeff and I went away to discuss and try to grab a few of these thoughts and put them on paper – over and over all we could do is shake our heads.  (Now, please understand, it’s one thing to render me speechless – but BOTH OF US?!!!  MUST be God!)  Some of these things that the Lord is doing are too weird to share with anyone else.  (We can hardly believe them, how can we expect YOU to?!) Yet, on the other hand, how can we “cheat” you out of having your faith built by watching the magnificent things that the Lord is doing in our lives?  (SEE – I AM dizzy!)

As all these things swirl in my brain, the greatest amount of swirling has to do with being shaken AND stirred.  Suddenly the things that I knew that I knew were mine to attend to are an odd shade of gray.  So, how does one take one woman, mother of 7, add a high maintenance baby, a soon to be graduating senior, a house that needs to be packed, foods that need to be prepared, lessons that need to be taught and toss in one new entrepreneurial adventure and pour out something akin to human?

How do we rightly discern the “proper” way for all our roles/responsibilities to come together and mesh into one person’s body?  When I look at all that is before me, I am dizzy… dizzy on steroids!  Please, those of you who are older or wiser or just plain not dizzy – speak wisdom to me!

Father, this is the cry of my heart – grant me direction – slow the spinning of my mind – slow the spinning of my heart.  Help me to walk in peace.  I am no good..no use when I am doing nothing but spinning.  Father guide my steps, that they might be profitable and useful.  Guide my thoughts that they might glorify You and exalt You, rather than be caught up in the whirlpool of “to – do” s.  Lord, I don’t mind being dizzy, as long as it’s over the bigness of You and not the bigness of all I have to do. Fill me with worship…..

5 Responses to “I’m so dizzy”
  1. Laura says:

    Well you know you ARE blond!!! hehehe I am praying for direction, clarity of mind and a peace that passeth all understanding….That you were doing something illegal never did cross my mind…But now I’m wondering JK….I really can’t wait to get the details….Remember God does work in mysterious ways! I am praying it all comes together smoothly and God is GLORIFIED!!!! Hugs to you my dear from your friend in the mountains….

  2. javadawn says:

    Agreed – that blond thing gets me every time. 😉 As for trying to convince me you weren’t suspicious I was doing something illegal…well, I don’t believe you. 😉 😉

    As for God moving in mysterious ways – you ain’t a kiddin’ sistah! 😀

  3. Valerie says:

    I’m excited for you! I LOVE when God stretches us into something new (unless it’s me He’s stretchin’ – ha!) because looking back, you can see the process. It’s just being in it that is so hard.

    Can’t wait to hear more details, Dawn.

    And you’re blonde? Never pictured you as a blonde! Hows about you send me a pic!!!

    V xxx

  4. deborah says:

    dawn, God is so good, isn’t he? i pray you keep your eyes focused on him. that he would plant your feet and guide your steps. that your one true love be him and not ‘the adventure’. that you wake with a sense of purpose, unharried, but holy. that you be filled with a heart of thankfulness for his goodness and providence up to this point. that you enjoy basking in the knowledge that you are a ‘kept woman’. you are God’s kept woman for his special purposes. that regardless of what (christian) society says is ‘proper’ for you to do….that you would follow after the one who has your heart in his hands.

    i’m so happy for you and your family, dawn. thank BSoC for me for the good advice!

  5. Kim's Vineyard says:

    All I can say is that if you are headed in my direction (finally!) I am thrilled!
    What an exciting time in your life! Isn’t it amazing that nothing can happen–yet everything is happening at the same time!? I am sure that is the way God’s people felt at the Passover. Here they were with so much to do and prepare, yet they were supposed to do nothing but wait in their homes while SO MUCH happened around them. Then, finally, the morning came and hold on kids…..we’re moving on!!!!!!!!

    Blessings, dear!

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