Please pass the salt

~ better include the ketchup too, cause I’m thinking my words aren’t going to taste too good when I have to eat them. 😕

Sooooooooooooo, last week I whine about how much I don’t like gardening. Uh….that would be last Monday, to be specific, yes?

Friday morning in my prayer closet, I’m feeling SO restless. I put it down to a heart that is aching for Jenna and her family…end of thought. It continues all day Friday. Saturday morning I awake with the same sense of being “lost.” (Sorry – I don’t know how else to explain it to you….) I continue to equate it with Jenna and pour myself out in prayer for her. Sunday, early – while it is yet dark, I am awakened with this horrible overwhelming feeling of being lost and “unattached.” OH YES, Lord, I recognize the call to intercession – so off I go to pray. It didn’t abate. (I justified all this, of course, because of dear Jenna)

I didn’t give it any thought yesterday – but today in my prayer closet I’m crying out to Father about this lost feeling – this afternoon, I’m talking to Jeff….we’re running a quick errand and I look to the fields all about us and say, “I am aching – nay LONGING to be tied to the land.” Well, give me a V-8 Slap to the head ….. The lost feeling that has been niggling away in my heart suddenly has a name. It is a longing for the land…to take dominion of the land and GARDEN!

So, for someone who doesn’t like gardening, the Lord surely is doing a new thing in me – calling me to the land, He is. I can not tell you how painful it is to consider going through another season without a garden. (??Is this even remotely normal??) There is a grieving in me that is connected to this some how. (PLEASE someone tell me that they understand this…. PLEASE tell me that you too have experienced something of the sort. PLEASE!!! Michelle?? Kristine? ANYONE???) I personally think it was Shannon’s fault – she spoke of her Grandma’s house -all the roses, and wisteria and ivy and trellises and hedgerows….sigh. It sounds sublime!

So, Jeff is lovingly helping me deal with this – we’re going to go buy bulbs this weekend, so I can plant…so I can go connect with the little bit of ground I do have. Sigh…I sure wish the Lord would allow me to be humiliated in private, rather than continuing to do it so publicly. 😕

9 Responses to “Please pass the salt”
  1. Michelle says:

    Oh my sweet, the Lord did “humiliate” you in private (if you can call it that) YOU’RE the one who is doing it publicly! ;o) Speaking as one who absolutely STINKS at gardening (I had to change my picture back when I kept up my blog) I feel this feeling every year in the fall and winter when things are grey and blah and cold and I am longing for the sweet smell of summer and green things. Every year I pour and dream through the seed catalog and every year I do a *little* (very little) better at planting and weeding and harvesting, but I still pretty much stink at it. I think my biggest problem is TOO MUCH! Too much space, too many goals/dreams for my flower beds and garden and orchard (remember we live on a farm). I never took to heart the wise garden expert who told me to start small that first year we were married. I’m passing it on to you, maybe you’ll do better.

  2. javadawn says:

    LOL I have to have something that could even qualify as “space” first. I have a fence row that I’m going to fill with bulbs…does that count as starting small?

    (And uh, good point re: the private/public thing. I figured if I didn’t confess it here, He’d do it in a bigger setting – although not sure what in my life would qualify. 😆 Throw yourself upon the Rock and be broken or have the Rock fall upon you and be crushed?)

  3. Dawn – I am grinning from ear to here over here! This is SO! SO! SO! exactly how I feel! I call it The Tara Effect (you have seen Gone With The Wind, right? that’s a requirement for all my firends:) ) Growing up as an Army Brat (with special emphasis on the “brat”), we always went to my Grandma’s a couple of times a year, we stayed with her anytime my dad was going to be gone for very long, once I got old enough that’s where I spend my summers. SO not only was that my home, it was a home I was (torn!) away from quite often. Her yard is still the first place I head to when I need…something. Just sitting in that old swing up under those old pecan trees. So of course I’m trying now to incorporate that land into our land – I want my children to feel that way about their home. I think we all have that need to be connected to the land – maybe it’s really a yearning for our real home. A yearning to see something grow from the cold, hard ground? Maybe we take after our Creator-Father a little bit:)

  4. I think that is really wonderful, Dawn! It is just another way Father is calling you to a specific point/place/purpose. Exciting!

    I have a love/hate relationship with gardening. It depends on the season. By spring, after paying thru the nose for fresh veggies that are anemic at best…I am EAGER to claim dominion and garden til we turn green. 🙂

  5. Michelle says:

    O.k. let’s get serious for a second. Bulbs by the fence row are a perfect way to start. Bulbs are pretty much goof-proof. I would suggest getting a variety–crocuses are the first thing to poke their brave heads throught the snow and are a cause for celebration. Tulips herald the arrival of spring and you can get early- mid- and late-spring varieties. Irises come in early summer or so and while technically not a bulb, still pretty goof-proof. Follow the planting directions (plant your bulbs pretty deep, while rhizomes like the irises are planted shallow) and you should have a continual supply of flowers to show for your efforts. Plus, all these things multiply so you will be blessed with a thicker, more beautiful garden area OR you will have bulbs and iris plants to bless others with (or both!)Hyacinths are also spring-flowering bulbs and they smell HEAVENLY! Your biggest problem now is going to be not going overboard!!! :o) One last thing my mil taught me about tulips, when they are done flowering, cut off the stem down to the leaves, but leave the leaves intact so they can take in rain & sun & nourish the bulb so you will have flowers the next year.

  6. javadawn says:

    Here’s where I have always gotten stuck re: bulbs… do I REALLY have to dig them up & divide every fall? I have a friend who digs her’s up EVERY year. She would come over and tell me how I should dig them up and shake them apart, etc. 🙄 She is a GARDENER. (She asked me Sunday if I had divided my bulbs yet this year. I said, “If by divided you mean have I set out which bulbs I want to plant where for next spring. Not yet. If you mean did I dig up the ones I’ve already planted before and separate them, then the answer is NO!” She got that “Poor pathetic thing” look on her face and said, “Suit yourself.”) 🙂

  7. Michelle says:

    Without being mean, does that woman really have too much time on her hands or is it just me? Bad girl. Be nice. I do not divide my bulbs until they look too cluttered for my tastes..I kind of LIKE a densely populated flower bed…it leaves less room for weeds. I might also dig up and move/divide my bulbs because I want to do something else with that space. I am not in a season of my life where I am going to be compulsive about every detail of my flower beds. Some people have the time, money, and calling to do that. Mine is different. How about you? You have 24 hrs/day Dawn, how are you going to use them? Does this said woman have a large family with children ranging from ready to graduate to not-even-ready for potty training? Does this woman homeschool said bundle of blessings? Is this woman walking the entrepreneurial road that you and Jeff are on? Does she spend as much time as you do encouraging as many different women as you do? It may well be BETTER to dig up and divide your bulbs every year, after all I’m not a GARDENER; but imntbho, it’s just fine to let sleeping bulbs lie.

  8. Kristine says:

    Hey Dawn, don’t spend any $ on plants or bulbs until after we get together. I think I can give you some yellow daffodil bulbs. (We sold some at the garage sale today, but I think one package of 100 bulbs is still there.) We also have other plants you could transplant if you would like. Enough to fill a fence row. You’ll have to dig those though. 🙂 There are miniature hollyhocks and peppermint plants, I’m not sure what else.

    If I have to bribe you and Jeff with free plants, so be it, consider yourself bribed. 🙂

  9. Jen says:

    you know, Dawn, I keep thinking (days after this was posted, this is STILL in my head ;)) that your desire to plant and your space seem well suited for one another. Right now, you aren’t sure you’re going to enjoy it. You don’t have a whole lot of time on your hands to care for the plants, and you have a little bit of space in which to tinker. Enjoy what you do have, my lady and be glad you haven’t got more. 😉 oi vey…at 1:30am, does that sound right?! no disrepect meant, promise. 🙂

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