Please pass the salt
~ better include the ketchup too, cause I’m thinking my words aren’t going to taste too good when I have to eat them. 😕
Sooooooooooooo, last week I whine about how much I don’t like gardening. Uh….that would be last Monday, to be specific, yes?
Friday morning in my prayer closet, I’m feeling SO restless. I put it down to a heart that is aching for Jenna and her family…end of thought. It continues all day Friday. Saturday morning I awake with the same sense of being “lost.” (Sorry – I don’t know how else to explain it to you….) I continue to equate it with Jenna and pour myself out in prayer for her. Sunday, early – while it is yet dark, I am awakened with this horrible overwhelming feeling of being lost and “unattached.” OH YES, Lord, I recognize the call to intercession – so off I go to pray. It didn’t abate. (I justified all this, of course, because of dear Jenna)
I didn’t give it any thought yesterday – but today in my prayer closet I’m crying out to Father about this lost feeling – this afternoon, I’m talking to Jeff….we’re running a quick errand and I look to the fields all about us and say, “I am aching – nay LONGING to be tied to the land.” Well, give me a V-8 Slap to the head ….. The lost feeling that has been niggling away in my heart suddenly has a name. It is a longing for the land…to take dominion of the land and GARDEN!
So, for someone who doesn’t like gardening, the Lord surely is doing a new thing in me – calling me to the land, He is. I can not tell you how painful it is to consider going through another season without a garden. (??Is this even remotely normal??) There is a grieving in me that is connected to this some how. (PLEASE someone tell me that they understand this…. PLEASE tell me that you too have experienced something of the sort. PLEASE!!! Michelle?? Kristine? ANYONE???) I personally think it was Shannon’s fault – she spoke of her Grandma’s house -all the roses, and wisteria and ivy and trellises and hedgerows….sigh. It sounds sublime!
So, Jeff is lovingly helping me deal with this – we’re going to go buy bulbs this weekend, so I can plant…so I can go connect with the little bit of ground I do have. Sigh…I sure wish the Lord would allow me to be humiliated in private, rather than continuing to do it so publicly. 😕