All day long, these few little verses have been “following” me around. I have been pondering on them and praying about them, asking Father to open the eyes of my understanding….
Yet, no matter how much I continue to ask, I still feel that I am poised, at the edge of something new….that if I could only grab ahold of this, my understanding of my Lord would be expanded. Not that daily life alone doesn’t expand my understanding of Father! But this feels different…..
(Ahhh, the “f” word raises its ugly head once again. I don’t want to just throw out the baby with the bathwater here. I want to be open to Father helping me grow in knowing Him. But, I don’t want to be tempted to make my feelings lord over all, rather than the Word and Spirit of God teaching me of His character.)
So, here’s my deal – as I read through commentaries online (and may I pause here to
rant say, there’s some REAL….GARBAGE out there in conjunction to the Word of God. I can’t tell you how many times I ran across things that indicated that this verse was a promise that God would give us the things we WANT. Notice, not NEED, but WANT. RIGHT, like MY flesh could ever be satisfied??? PUHLEEEEEZ!!!!!)
I came up with basically the same things that Violet mentioned – seeing all of life as coming from/through His hands for me. (Uh, that would be all of MY life coming through His hands for me. It is NOT an indication of the degree of selfishness I have fallen to, assuming everything in YOUR life is for me, too…not that I couldn’t/wouldn’t think like that, just that I’m not, in this case.)
But, this feeling seems to have to do with growing my understanding of what it means to live my life unto Father – of seeking His kingdom before all else. Of seeing all other things as temporal, while obedience and (this seems to be key) nothing more than sheer delight in….of….about HIM is my purpose. I keep asking “Is this how Paul was able to be content, Father, in much and in want? Because food, clothes and drink were temporal…were shallow, while YOU, YOU were the essence of all he needed, all he desired?” Is THIS what it means to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness?
The other thing I keep thinking is that this understanding of being focused only on seeking the Kingdom….of seeking the KING, is crucial to our time in the desert. I have a hunch that the wandering children were needing to know that it was ONLY the King that was important to be seeking, rather than the Promised Land. (Sigh….some days I am astounded at how the Lord made my brain to work…then, after days like today, I’m astounded that my brain DOES work. I feel so inept at grasping this new depth of relationship with my Lord. But I am so eager to do so.)
“Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”
From the desert ~ Dawn