Seeker Sensitive

All day long, these few little verses have been “following” me around. I have been pondering on them and praying about them, asking Father to open the eyes of my understanding….

Yet, no matter how much I continue to ask, I still feel that I am poised, at the edge of something new….that if I could only grab ahold of this, my understanding of my Lord would be expanded. Not that daily life alone doesn’t expand my understanding of Father! But this feels different…..

(Ahhh, the “f” word raises its ugly head once again. I don’t want to just throw out the baby with the bathwater here. I want to be open to Father helping me grow in knowing Him. But, I don’t want to be tempted to make my feelings lord over all, rather than the Word and Spirit of God teaching me of His character.)

So, here’s my deal – as I read through commentaries online (and may I pause here to rant say, there’s some REAL….GARBAGE out there in conjunction to the Word of God. I can’t tell you how many times I ran across things that indicated that this verse was a promise that God would give us the things we WANT. Notice, not NEED, but WANT. RIGHT, like MY flesh could ever be satisfied??? PUHLEEEEEZ!!!!!)

I came up with basically the same things that Violet mentioned – seeing all of life as coming from/through His hands for me. (Uh, that would be all of MY life coming through His hands for me. It is NOT an indication of the degree of selfishness I have fallen to, assuming everything in YOUR life is for me, too…not that I couldn’t/wouldn’t think like that, just that I’m not, in this case.)

But, this feeling seems to have to do with growing my understanding of what it means to live my life unto Father – of seeking His kingdom before all else. Of seeing all other things as temporal, while obedience and (this seems to be key) nothing more than sheer delight in….of….about HIM is my purpose. I keep asking “Is this how Paul was able to be content, Father, in much and in want? Because food, clothes and drink were temporal…were shallow, while YOU, YOU were the essence of all he needed, all he desired?” Is THIS what it means to seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness?

The other thing I keep thinking is that this understanding of being focused only on seeking the Kingdom….of seeking the KING, is crucial to our time in the desert. I have a hunch that the wandering children were needing to know that it was ONLY the King that was important to be seeking, rather than the Promised Land. (Sigh….some days I am astounded at how the Lord made my brain to work…then, after days like today, I’m astounded that my brain DOES work. I feel so inept at grasping this new depth of relationship with my Lord. But I am so eager to do so.)

“Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.”

From the desert ~ Dawn

2 Responses to “Seeker Sensitive”
  1. Patricia says:

    That was beautiful, Dawn…and I could not agree with you more. It is in the moments when I truly grasp the deeper truths of Matthew 6:31 that I experience the abundant life in Christ. It is a satisfaction and contentment that comes from nothing else but knowing Christ. It might be my age, but these thoughts have been bouncing around in my head for quite some time. I knew my heart was changing in this area when I gave my only couch to Nick and Kristin shortly after they bought their house this past spring…and most of the time, I haven’t even cared that we haven’t bought a new one! It sounds trivial, but there was a time when I would have wasted way too much emotion worrying about not having a couch. I have so little compared to others, but so much more than so many more…and what am I going to do with more stuff anyway? I do hope I don’t sound pious and “all that”, because I don’t feel that way. I know where my heart has been and from where I have come – and how far I have yet to go!

  2. Violet says:

    Another couple verses that came to mind were Prov. 3:5, 6. “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding; in all thy ways acknowledge (know) Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” The past couple months I have been slowly reading a page or two each day from Stephan Charnock’s book, “The Existence and Attributes of God”. It has been sooooo helpful in truly coming to KNOW Him. As I meditate on what is involved in each attribute I am overwhelmed by the ramifications of it all. All of my shallow needs/wants don’t even come on the radar screen when contemplating HIM. I find myself in tears, in worship of this majestic, gracious God Who is everything. That He would call such a one as me to Himself is beyond belief. And yet…and yet…can you believe as soon as I run into a difficulty or distraction, I actually forget all of that??!!! Woe is me!!!

    Over the weekend, I read very slowly through Psalm 119. I know the key in meditating on Him night and day (seeking Him and His kingdom first) is putting the Word into my life via my heart (not just my head). My prayer for all of us on this journey would be what Paul prayed for the Ephesians: “That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of his power to usward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power..”

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