To the Mommy of the little red-headed guy with the guitar in his backpack

Hi, you don’t know me, but I was watching you so closely yesterday. Nice fuzzy pink slippers, by the way.  Do you mind if I just pull up a seat here…..I brought some hot tea, thought maybe we could natter (thank you Michele W, that’s a phrase I have kept as my own!!) a bit. AND could I just share a bit of information – as an older mommy??

I noticed your little guy last evening, right away….we were driving behind the bus and he kept standing up…he was so eager to get off the bus.  Yet, when it came to a stop, he ended up getting moved to the back of the line, so he was, in fact the last one off.

He jumped down and then he trudged toward your driveway.  His head was down – he looked weary and exhausted.  Please busy Mom, remember, going to school – that’s hard work.  It doesn’t matter if he likes it, it is still hard work, because it throws his natural rhythm as a child off.  Somehow the teachers haven’t yet figured out how to teach math facts to children hanging upside down on the playground.  Until they do, school will be hard work for our kiddos.   🙂

As soon as he saw his little brother running out to greet him, his face lit up and he waved.  There was a new bounce to his step – and he began to fondle the neck of his guitar.  It was almost as if he could hardly wait to play for Little Guy, there.  This boy got a breath of new life infused into him….then he looked up for you….

You were so busy.  I understand the weather is unseasonably warm and all the Christmas lights need to be hung.  I understand that the likelihood is good that Big Bro here was going to throw a new dynamic into your afternoon and you were eager to get those last lights done before he was in full motion…..but Mom?  He stopped in his tracks and waited for you to look at him.  You held his full attention.  Yet, still, you did not even look up at him.

Mom, he’s still a little guy – no matter how tough and big boy-ish he may seem.  It doesn’t matter if he’s a red-headed terror on two legs most of his waking hours….he’s still YOUR little man.  Please, PLEASE I adjure you, if you don’t already have a sense of the import of that, PLEASE ask the Lord to impart it to your heart.

The responses you give to this man-in-training will serve both of you well, as he matures.  I am more and more convinced, the more young men I know, that our eye-to-eye attention given to these Testosteronasauruses we’ve been blessed with, will do much to guard their hearts, their souls and even their eyes.   (If you know someone is going to look deeply in your eyes and ask after you, how willing are you to knowingly wade into sin, before being with them?  What if every one of our sons was armed with this knowledge – this understanding that we desire to truly SEE them when we talk – what sinful temptations would our love and attention keep them from?)

So busy Mommy, with two little perpetual motion boys, who has some really cute fuzzy pink slippers, love your son with your eyes, will you please?  In this case you wouldn’t even have had to stop what you were doing – just look at him….look with love upon the return of your son from his hard day.  His heart was yours for the taking  ….and you were busy….busy with many things, yet only a few are really needful, chose the good part, won’t you?

16 Responses to “To the Mommy of the little red-headed guy with the guitar in his backpack”
  1. myderbe says:

    Wow. Good reminder. I know I need to do a much better job with this. Thanks. Let me go find my red-headed mischief-maker and give him a hug.

  2. motherbun says:

    This is good advice which I’ll keep in the back of my mind as I spend the day with my littles. However, you sound a bit shall I say, Gladys Kravitiz-ish. It’s very hard to judge the depth, or lack thereof, of a relationship between mother and child by watching them through our windows. Perhaps mom was distracted by thoughts of her hospitalized sister or by thoughts of where the next mortgage payment is going to come from…

  3. Dawn, honey my heart just needed this today. We do all get distracted but our littles just don’t wait. They’re growing up no matter how many things we have to worry about and those little moments add up so quickly.

  4. javadawn says:

    Ah, motherbun, I pray that I AM being Gladys Kravitz-ish. I would love nothing more than to see this mom thoroughly enjoying her little people.

    I will certainly agree – mom was definitely distracted – the fact that the little brother (barely 2, maybe?) who was running out to a highway to greet big brother, without even causing Mom to turn and look is a clear indication of that.

    Sadly, however, this wasn’t the only example of a mom busy with her own “to do” list who missed an opportunity to look her Littles in the eye, that I saw yesterday. Including the one typing now. : /

    Tis the season for mommies to be busy and distracted. We NEED one another to keep our eyes focused where they need to be, not on the mounting list of things that are screaming for our attention. I know when I’m that busy, the requests of my kiddos for attention gets smaller and smaller as the list of things needing my attention grow. (Or so it seems)

    Realistically, though, as Believers, it really doesn’t matter what has captured our thoughts – our minds need to be taken captive – and sometimes that means we (and I do mean WE – as in ME plus anyone else who has the same size “foot”) have to lay those “important thinks” away and simply give our minds over to our children. (Like now, when my daughter is wanting to read Edgar Allen Poe to me… As I said – this applies to ….ESPECIALLY to the one who wrote it.) See ya! I’m off to hear someone’s favorite Edgar Allen Poe poem. 🙂

  5. javadawn says:

    PS Lest anyone think I’m suggesting that taking our thoughts – our busy thoughts, our potentially troubled thoughts, our many, many thoughts – captive is EASY, may I clarify? This is what I believe is part of what Scripture calls DYING to myself. Not even remotely easy!!!

    Nothing I can do in my own strength and nothing I can do without the encouragement, support and accountability of my Sisters in the Lord. (For whom I’m very grateful!) Nothing I can do without the empowerment of God the Holy Spirit!

  6. Mrs. Nehemiah says:

    thanks, I needed that.

  7. winkies6 says:

    I hear ya! I was just thinking last night that I needed to spend more “face time” with my one boy, my holy terror boy. 😉

  8. winkies6 says:

    Oh, and I was putting up some gutterguards, not stringing the Christmas lights. But that was me on the ladder when the kids got home from school. Although, as I recall, I came down off the ladder and chit chatted with the kiddos. 😉 Just sayin’.

  9. Help me out here…who is Gladys Kravitz???

    Any tips on training myself to not be distracted? To help me enter-in with my babies more? I know it involves dying to my self, and taking every thought captive…but I struggle with what it looks like. HOW do I change? HOW do I remember? HOW do I focus?

  10. javadawn says:

    Ahhh, you’ve just dated motherbun and I. 🙂 I knew who she was, right away. 😆 She was the nosy neighbor who was always trying to cause trouble for Samantha from Bewitched, the TV show.

    As for training yourself to not be distracted – I don’t have a good answer for you. That is something you’ll need to take up with Father.

    HONEST, I’m not trying to blow you off! For me, I have to take it to prayer – ask Father to give me eyes to see and ears to hear my children. I have to then ask a friend to hold me accountable for it.

    At this stage in my life, I am also asking my CHILDREN to hold me accountable. I am asking the Bigs to hold me accountable. I have shared with them in the past that it is easy for me to get distracted with the things of this life. (ESPECIALLY right now – I had to laugh when motherbun mentioned no house payment – that’s where we’ve been for the last few months.)

    So, they know how easily my mind strays and to be honest, they’re their mother’s children and they all have easily distracted minds, as well. So we discuss openly how hard it is to keep focused.

    I have also been toying with putting the names of each of my children onto my daily “to – do” list. That way I’m not only praying about it, asking the kids to make me aware – I’m also purposefully putting it before my own face, day in and day out.

    So, Julie, I’m sorry, I feel like I’m not much help here – these are just the things that I’m doing. I WILL however, pray that the Lord will show you what you can do, to allow you to have the focus you need. His ideas for you are going to be TONS better than mine, anyway. 🙂

  11. javadawn says:


    DUH!!! The Lord toinked me in the head this morning in my quiet time – one of the biggest ways I do this is PRAY FOR MY KIDS!!!!! DUH, duh, duh!! 🙂

  12. MicheleinNZ says:

    Glad I’m bringing a little bit of NZ to your part of the world 🙂 Sorry I’ve not been around much. I’m expecting another little one and it’s thrown me for a bit of a loop. Just now getting back on the computer more regularly. Not a bad thing really 😉

  13. javadawn says:

    Michele – HOW WONDERFUL!!!! Congratulations – I am rejoicing with you and your family.

  14. Holly says:

    Michele – congratulations! I’ve been wondering how you are! I hadn’t seen you around in awhile! (This is Holly formerly from Choosing Home.)

    Dawn – I need the constant reminder. I think that’s why God made my little boys so LOUD. I CAN’T tune them out…even if I try!

    I have missed you and my other cyber friends. It is simply miraculous that I got on your site…and to comment, actually! I feel so special and blessed! 🙂

  15. MicheleinNZ says:

    Thank you Holly and Dawn. We’re very excited. This is only our third and I’m amazed at how many times I’ve heard “Boy, you’re going to be busy” etc. I feel like saying, well hey, I know people with 7 kids! I think we’ll manage! Now that I’m in the middle of the second trimester it’s starting to sink in. And we found out today it’s a little boy! I told my midwife – but hey, I don’t know how to clean little boys’ bits! She laughed and said that she could teach me 🙂 I’ve missed you ladies.

  16. javadawn says:

    Michele, well, of course, we’ve missed you too!! 🙂 BUT, we’re willing to give you up for the cause – not forever, mind you, but for a little while. 😉
    As for the outdoor plumbing – I have NO worries about that. 🙂

    Holly – with all your sick Littles, you had time online and you came HERE? Honey, I’M the one who feels special and blessed!! Still praying for health for your crew. (Point to remember – rejoice, for the Lord is a great economist and nothing you learn here is for naught!!!)

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