As for me and my house…..
Bear with me, please. I’m processing this “outloud.” The above Scripture – have we neglected to embrace the fullness of it? Is it more than a declaration we like to hang on our dining room walls?
Myderbe, Patricia and I have been hashing out the letter posted by Tim Challies, referenced in my previous blog. One of the things that I have been wrestling with is the whole concept of Christian freedom. I need to process this and Jeff is at work, so you guys are stuck with my rambling thoughts. (Sorry -feel free to run like the wind at this point) Please – speak to me regarding this. If you read anything that is Biblically unsound, PLEASE speak into it!!
I am a stay-at-home mom, who homeschools her 7 children. We generally eat natural foods (generally). We drink coffee here (generally). We have varied taste in music. We are theatre majors who love movies. I wear jeans. I have short hair. I wear make-up.
One of my dear friends is Amish. She stays at home. She has 8 children. She sends her children to school. She generally eats natural foods too (generally). They don’t touch coffee (generally). They have one taste in music – church music, in German. They have never been to the theatre, don’t know anything about movies, nor do they care to, they don’t even the electric to watch a movie if they wanted to. She only wears jeans in a blizzard…. under her dress…. if no one else can see her. She has hair to her ankles and the only make-up she has ever touched is lotion.
Yet, I love her and she loves me. I consider my life richer and better for the relationship. We do not agree about everything we discuss. There are some things we even strongly disagree about. She loves being Amish and would no more consider jerking over to English than I would consider becoming Amish. She is passionate about her Amish-ness, while I am equally passionate about my English-ness. This does not make her right and me wrong, nor vice versa.
Soooo, if I can extend such grace to Rachel, why do I struggle when I hear of friends who have been stay at home moms say they’re going to get a job? Why do I shudder when I hear of Sisters in the Lord who are putting their wee ones into daycare to “get a break”?
I *think* I have been growing in wisdom, (along with the growing in years and gray hairs) and here is where my thoughts are trailing these days…. When the Lord calls me and/or my household to a certain way of life, being the innately lazy creatures that we are, He graciously gives us these unctions, along with a fair dose of passion. Without that passion, I do not believe I would have the will/character to simply press in on the hard days to do what is “right” for our family. (Speaking as someone who knows herself too well!) I NEED that passion to do what I’m called to do.
I then believe, that I take that unction plus passion and somehow create “law” in my heart/mind. Therefore, what the Lord has called us to, suddenly seems as though it is only right that all y’all (in honor of Shannon and Tiffany) 😉 should be doing the same thing.
Now, here’s the sticky part. There ARE things in Scripture that are not gray! There simply are. If I were to tell you I was harboring anger, the MOST loving thing you could do would be to confront my sin. (Ditto dealing with lust, greed and numerous other sins) But the key for me is keeping in mind the difference between calling and commandment.
Why can I not allow my Brothers and Sisters to live their lives according to the plans that Father has for them and not living the world according to Dawn? I am suspicious it is a mixture of fear, lack of faith/trust and control. I’d LOVE to tell you it’s my loving kindness. I’d like to think that it’s because I love you so much that I want you to have the “perfect” life. That’s what I’d like to think. (I’d also like to think that the smell emanating from the diaper here by me is really just a scent wafting in from the farmer’s fields nearby, too.) When the rubber hits the road, however, I am suspect of my heart.
I am suspicious that it is a lack of trust in you AND a lack of trust in Father – you to make the “good” choices and Father to lead you into them. If that wasn’t my true heart, why would I wig when you come to me and tell me that you – after prayer – have decided to do thus and such. Thus and such is not an issue of sin – so why am I judging you for your decision?! Why do I think I am in a position to determine what Father has called you to?!!! (And I AM guilty of this, have no doubt!!)
Yes, there are some things that I personally think are best – IF the Lord is not speaking specifically to your family. BUT more than ANYTHING else, we each need to seek and hear from Father for our own households. Then we can truly say, “As for me and my house….. “