Is there a Vulcan in the house?

My mind is swirling – I mean even I am agog with all the bazillion things racing through my head. Some of them are worth sharing – others simply need to be swept out my ears or something.

When my brain starts whipping all these thoughts around, I find I have a hard time communicating (clearly, at any rate) the things that are needful in that mass of information. AND the person I need most to communicate with right now is Jeff and he, being of alien species from me (not a bad thing) simply doesn’t understand a female brain dump. (PLEASE – does someone else…ANYONE else understand/equate with what I’m talking about?)

I want to pause here and say, I LOVE the differences between my alien husband and myself. I do, I do, I do. I love how his hairy arm feels on mine. I love that his big, calloused hands can swallow mine up. I love when he nuzzles his fuzzy mustache in my neck. I love how I can stand in front of him and his frame is taller than mine so I just fit under his chin. (Ok, so I fit significantly under his chin, being a full 8″ shorter than he is.) I do love this alien creature of mine. BUT….when it comes to communicating, I’m thinking a mind meld is the only option.

A week from Monday we’re going to embark on a challenge to encourage our husbands for the next 30 days. This task is daunting to me, to say the least. First of all, Jeff and I have been lax (lazy? just plain careless? preoccupied? not sure which and possibly all) and have allowed our relationship to get mushy and out of shape. Secondly, there are things I say to him that I really (REALLY) do think are encouraging. It would seem though, that we’re both ESL students, as we don’t seem to hear me saying the same thing. With those two factors (and a few others, if I could find them in the swirling vortex formerly known as my brain) I find I’m not embracing this challenge as I should be.

SO, please – is there a Vulcan in the house??? I’m REALLY needing to learn how to do this mind meld thing. And…uh, if possible, could you mind meld the instructions directly into my head too? I’m not sure I’ll find it otherwise. Besides, I think the mess in my brain might make even you emotional.

(Quick edit: Please know I am NOT bashing Jeff or his methods of communication. I know that Father, Himself, has wired us differently.Β  Besides, Jeff is sitting right here and I read this to him…he is laughing at me. I think he heard this in Swahili or something, but hey – at least we’re not fighting!) πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜†

7 Responses to “Is there a Vulcan in the house?”
  1. Patricia says:

    As you know, I started this husband encouraging adventure a few days ago – just before the dryer and my clean clothes went to the dump and we stayed up all that night to welcome a new grandson. Yesterday morning, Louis returned to work and Emily and I headed back to Ft. Myers. Before we could leave town, Nick wanted us to stop by their house to check on the cat, turn down the A/C and bring him a few things he forgot to take with him to the hospital. We knew that once we battled the “city” traffic and reached the hospital, which is almost to the beach, we would spend as much time with Nick, Kristin, and Gavin as they wanted us to (which ended up being about 2 hours), get the car serviced (Louis had a long list of things he wanted checked), find a place to park at the mall and shop for clothes for Emily to wear to church Christmas Eve and to a wedding on New Years Eve, run errands for Nick and Kristin, and shop for groceries. ON THE WAY to Ft. Myers – we were just leaving Nick and Kristin’s and had not even left town – Louis calls me to ask if I know when we will be home! I just had to laugh! Louis thinks regimentally and plans his excursions accordingly. At the time he called me, I didn’t even know how long it would take me to get through the holiday traffic in Ft. Myers and get to the hospital, much less how long it would take to accomplish every other task on my to-do list and get back home. It really is too funny! And it is a good thing that I started my “husband encouragement challenge” when I did because it kept me from getting irritated at our different perspectives and actually find humor in them. Love you ~ Patricia

  2. whimsy says:

    Do I understand? Well, I’ve seen it happen, but i don’t understand it. DH and I can start out trying to build each other up and end up in a fight! Then I’m looking at him like “how could you say that” and he’s looking at me like “I was trying to be nice” and it’s all downhill from there.

    Might I suggest a series on ROH this summer called Love and Respect: An Interview with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It’s worth rehearing if you heard it this summer. It’s from July 2006

  3. JavaDawn says:

    πŸ™‚ Thank you my dear whimsy. I’ll check that out.

    Actually, once I got done here, I sat down and started pulling the whirling vortex out of my head and wrote out the many things racing around in there and that helped me be able to tell Jeff all that is on our plates right now. (His family has totally changed our holiday plans since my brother in law passed away and it’s just hard to keep up with the constant changes.) πŸ™‚ Don’t misunderstand, I would still like to learn how to do this mind meld thing. I think it would come in handy pretty often. πŸ˜†

    Patricia, timing is everything, huh? πŸ˜‰

  4. Violet says:

    And I thought it was just my being married to a Chinese man that was causing all the difficulty! Even after 27 years you’d think I would catch on a little more. But about a month ago I got ahold of two books that had some very interesting insights into the male/female thingy. They are: “For Men Only” (although I read it first and am not sure if my husband will ever read it!) and “For Women Only” by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn. I haven’t finished the latter, yet, but it has some points that will be very helpful in the “challenge” that begins soon to encourage our husbands. I am just so amazed at God’s creativity in handpicking our spouses to best accomplish our personal sanctification! I’m sure glad it wasn’t left up to me.

  5. Christina says:

    I totally understand. I have been talking to my husband about making it easier at home, i.e. more organized, better school schedule, less clutter, less bickering (this time I’m thinking children) so HE to make it “easier, and more organized” his words decides while he has vacation time and I am swamped right now to move all our canned goods and shelves, (a lot, canning season just ended) both chest freezers, (that are full) and extra refridgerator, that I was out stocking at the store 4 days before Christmas. And this was his way of helping. (Is it okay to scream now)

  6. javadawn says:

    Violet, you, my dear, simply have a double whammy! πŸ™‚

    Christina, you, my dear, have not only my full support to go enjoy a primal scream, if you call me, I’ll come join you. That one qualifies for two headed scream. πŸ˜€

  7. Jenna says:

    I hear ya, Dawn! *hugs*
    I’ll start the challege with you. The good Lord knows, I certainly need some reminders on how to be encouraging. Some days I do well, and other days…..eww. I’m just glad that he loves me anyway, even when I’m jerky and we don’t seem to understand one another at all! πŸ™‚

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