To bounce or be bounced, that is the question

When is the last time you played pinball?  WHAP!  The little ball goes whirling away in one direction.  It comes slowly down and PING! off it goes again.  BINK! off one edge, bouncing off the another.  A well placed ball can go on forever, being sent to and fro all over.  They have no purpose, they have no plan and they make no changes in the board.  Their entire “existence” is one of being tossed about.

I think I am a pinball.

Many times in the past few weeks, I have felt that life was controlling me.  There were many moments when I felt that I was truly nothing more than a pinball – being whirled and slammed from one side of the board to the other.  “Surely Father, You have called me to more than the life of a pinball?!!” has been the cry of my heart many times.

As I have become more aware of this sense of being tossed about, outside of my control, I have become aware that this seems to be epidemic.  What is going on?  Why is it that most of Christendom is being thrown about, not of their own volition, from one thing to another?!

So, I have taken this up with my Master.  “Father, my life is out of control.  Every thing that is happening to me is being perpetrated TO me.  I have no say in any of this.  Lord, is this Your plan for me?  Is this a breaking of me, to allow You more control of my days?  Lord, I know with all my heart that every minute of every one of my days is run through Your fingers, like sand….  I know that there is nothing that comes anywhere close to me that hasn’t been allowed by You, so what is this new sense of being tossed about like a stuffed animal in the dryer?!!”  I asked the first time and I heard nothing….I asked again….nothing. I continue to seek Him for answers…He has spoken quietly and gently and He is leading me, but still I ask and seek…..

I still do not have all the answers I seek, but I know this one thing.  It is indicative of the hour.  You see, the fields are ripening – even as I watched the pears on my neighbor’s tree ripen, one at a time this last summer, so too are the fields of my Lord.  Just as my neighbor’s beautiful golden pears fell one after the other to the ground to rot, so too will those that are ripening in the fields surrounding our busy lives.  Something HAS to give.  The Bride of Christ can no longer be so busy – so utterly taken with the things of life that we are not able to reach out to those that Father has placed in our path.

Just so you’re warned, this has been the prayer of my heart – to grasp a vision – an understanding of what is to be done to stop this perpetual motion that the Bride keeps finding herself in.  This is the crux of much of what Father and I have talked about during the past few weeks.  How do we stop the whirlwind that many of us are on?  (It’s not like we are racing around like this for fun…it’s not like we enjoy it. I hate the feeling of everything happening TO me, with no chance of stopping it and slowing it or changing it.) AND this will be the general focus of my blogging, as I process through what it means to slow the race and seek wisdom and understanding for how my days are to be spent.

I do know that part of it has to do with what we’ve been taught and what we’ve believed about those things.  There are many lies that have been foisted upon us and we MUST root them out and turn instead to the Word for Truth and reality.  Over the next few days/weeks as I continue to wrestle through, I’m going to share some of what I feel like Father is speaking to our hearts….to my heart.  I pray that you would find that the questions challenge you – stir your heart – and call you to draw near to hear what He would speak to your heart as well.

If the Lord is rattling some of those lies in your heart already – if you are finding that you are tearful at the thought of BOINGING your way through the remainder of your life, please, let’s share what is on our hearts – let’s go to the Word, let’s knock again and again until our Lord answers and gives direction. For the fields are whitening as unto harvest….we daren’t be too busy to bring that harvest in!  ” He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son, but he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.”  We CAN’T miss the harvest!!!!!

If you have already wrestled with all this, PLEASE, share what you have learned.  I’m eager to grow in wisdom and understanding about this!!!

4 Responses to “To bounce or be bounced, that is the question”
  1. Krina says:

    I (probably due to my personality) have mostly been more of a driftwood kind of girl, moving along with the forces around me — sometimes that can mean I go through some pretty scare rapids.

    Either way, I know God has been really drawing me towards s-l-o-w-i-n-g d-o-w-n in everthing I do from reading to eating. I can only read scripture one or two verses at a time and then I have to stop and just absorb that bit. I read part of chapter in a book and the same thing happens. But I am beginning (and I say beginning like a tentative little mouse just peeking out) to feel more God in my day. Less leading to more as it were.

    So I am not bouncing around at present but my heart is calling out much the same.

  2. Margie says:

    I am thinking that this discussion is going right along with one I have been having with myself in my head. I know it is time to carve out some time to spend with the Father with regard to priorities. Revive our Hearts has a great series going right now on just that. I am reading at this link:
    You can start at that link and move forward to read the series so far.

    I am challenged and can’t wait to share what the Lord speaks to my heart and read what he speaks to yours, Dawn.

  3. Violet says:

    I hear ya’ Dawn! I spent the first half of my life thinking God had created me a “human doing” rather than a human being! Then He very unceremoniously pulled the rug out from under me physically, and for the next two years showed me what it meant to truly get to know Him, not just serve Him. He finally convinced me that my responsibility began and ended with Him. He never meant for me to be superwoman, and all things to all people. Just because there was a need didn’t mean I was the one to meet it. I was forced to pare back my life to those things (at first) that only I could do, i.e. be my children’s mother, my husband’s wife, etc. As I became able and the Lord led, I could slowly add other things (such as mentoring, attending Bible studies, visiting shut-ins, etc.) Since I’ve been on this journey, the Lord has brought a special needs adopted son into our lives which has opened up an entirely new venue of service I had never even imagined. I have spent literally months with him in medical facilities, meeting many people, and having opportunities to introduce Him to them. I find that as I am busy about the things that only I can do (being Kalen’s mom), God takes care of bringing the harvest field right to me, and I no longer fuss over territory He hasn’t given me at this moment. I can’t begin to tell you how that has taken the pressure off of this very performance driven woman! The peace that comes in just reveling in getting to know HIM better, and allowing Him to lead me step by step, passes all understanding.

    Unfortunately I still forget, but He has allowed my weakened body to remind me (in no uncertain terms) when I begin to do more than what He has called me to.

    I don’t have any great words of wisdom, except to say, go to Him each day in prayer, asking for His perspective on things. No matter where you are, “Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.” Psalm 139:10. “For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.” Isa. 57:15.

  4. It’s my turn to come up with a devotional for our ladies’ meeting this month and this idea of us all being too busy to help with the harvest has just been playing over and over in my head. I’m going to be mulling over this post for the next few days until I can flesh out some actual thoughts of my own:) Even though I am at home everyday, it seems like I never have time to do the things I *need* to do because I’m always responding (running around putting out fires). One of my big goals for this year is getting life focused. I don’t really think of it as being “simple” because to me it isn’t simple at all to decide between good, better, and best. And because I’m working with littles – they aren’t simple at all:) But if I can focus on what God really wants for me and my family, then I can (hopefully!) weed out the distractions. Hopefully!

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