Sticks and stones may break my bones

but words will hurt forever.  Today, we had a situation where someone spoke some really hurtful words to my daughter.  I must confess, I was a mama grizzly for a while.  No amount of pepper spray and bells would have stopped me, I assure you!!!

But, when all was said and done and I was calmed and confessed my anger – I was reminded how vitally important our words are, how powerful our words are and how easily we can wound with our words.

Silly words – careless words – what power they carry.  Last night, I wielded words harshly with one of my children.  But tonight, well, tonight, I excelled at thoughtless words. (Do what I say, NOT what I do, ok?!!)

My son jumped out of the van and left his little sisters to carry all the groceries in.  (Now, “all” is a VERY relative term, ok?  We’re talking 3 small bags – we had zero carrots, zero coffee (except for bat dropping kind), zero Ziplocs (not good on bagel day) and zero oranges.  So, there you have it, my grocery list ….OH and an Ugli fruit that was on sale. (I’m sure this is vital information to you.)  😉   So, it’s not like they had a lot to carry in, it was just the attitude that he demonstrated.

The baby was sleeping in the van, so I was waiting with her, so we could take some needed items to a friend. While Jeff went in to get them, I called my son on the phone.  “Honey, you left the girls to carry all the groceries in by themselves.  You know better than that.  You KNOW your job is to care for the women.”  “Yes, I know, Mom, but Dad is so tired and you guys have that proofing job to do and I just wanted to gather the stuff you need to take to Warsaw, so he could get it and get back sooner, and I knew the bags were light, so I left them to serve Dad.”  B.U.S.T.E.D.  I was OH SO deflated.   (And like HONEY was going to make things easier to swallow?  Me thinks this t’were not the spoonful of “honey” that Poppin’ Mary was singing about.)  🙄

“Oh.” I said.  “I’m SO sorry Son, I assumed the worst of you, will you please forgive me?”  “Sure,” he said, “You’ve done that a lot recently and I’m getting really good at it.”  It wasn’t said in anger – in fact, there was a tone of jocularity to his words, but I knew they weren’t all in fun.  I was CRUSHED.

I spent time today being FURIOUS that someone would wound my daughter with their mouth and I was tearing down my own household, brick by brick with MY mouth.  Sigh…. Guess my husband isn’t the only one in need of encouragement in this household.  I’m thinking my son could use a good dose of it as well.

15 Responses to “Sticks and stones may break my bones”
  1. winkies6 says:

    Wow. I can’t imagine the day that my children call me out like that. I am so glad he wasn’t mad at you, but I’m sure that doesn’t help the sting of it. Thank you for the reminder. (didn’t you bring up something just recently about encouraging our children as well?)

    How thoughtful is your son? I mean seriously, many times my sons don’t think that indepth about their actions and others. I am amazed!

  2. javadawn says:

    w6 – Yeah, I did just talk about this….sigh…(hear the Eeyore tone in my “voice”?? I did – I keep doing bad stuff- I’ll never figure this mom stuff out.) 😆

    Yes, I did indeed discuss this very issue. Obviously the Lord is kicking my backside repeatedly to get it through my thick head. (If one is being kicked in the backside to get something through their thick skull, what does it imply about their anatomical position?!!) 😉

    Hmmm, calling me out….I confess, he did it so gently, I didn’t even consider that he was addressing my sin. I will have to tell him how well he did and thank him for it. By the time we came back he had made dinner (it was his turn last night) and met us at the door to help carry Booger in…sorry, Burt in. So, I know he didn’t remain upset with me. Ugh. When WILL I get this mom thing right?? 🙂

  3. ReneeFL says:

    Wait!!! Is there hope for getting the “mom thing” right? 🙂

  4. javadawn says:

    Renee, Um…nope. 😆 I keep growing in it. I really do – and my kids keep growing up so I’m not so much “Mom” anymore. So, I fear they will grow into being moms before I get it right. (Excluding my son, of course.) 😉

  5. My great grandmother always tells me that mothering is really just practice for grandmothering:) Maybe, maybe!, I might have it down by then:) I don’t know though – Levi is 5 already… 15-20 years possibly going to be enough?

  6. winkies6 says:

    I sure hope you didn’t think I was rubbing your face in that this morning! Please accept my apologies if that’s the way I came off. 🙂 You know I would never want you to feel badly. (((HUG)))

    I do so understand the trials that come with asking for the Lord’s help with things!

  7. javadawn says:

    🙂 Honey, I didn’t think that AT ALL! No apologies needed.

  8. ReneeFL says:

    I knew there was a catch! My oldest daughter is 20 and my oldest son is 18 — I think they forgot to wait for me to perfect the mothering thing! Sometimes I feel like I was “practicing” on them but I see God doing some awesome things in their lives so I know He was really doing most of the parenting while I was on my knees! (They keep you there, you know!) When I get caught up in my insufficiencies, God reminds me that my job is to lift them up before His throne and turn them to Him for what they need. I am finally figuring out that I can’t protect them from the “bad” in the world so I need to teach them how to respond to it, learn from it, and not be driven by it (starting with me first, of course.) Life hasn’t quite gone like I had planned (imagine that!) but God’s faithfulness is so evident when I stop to listen for a minute. (BTW — my next 4 are 7, 9, 11, & 13!)

  9. javadawn says:

    Renee, Jeff and I frequently say something along the lines of, “God gave us this last baby because we have already ruined 6 perfectly good ones.” 😉

  10. Tiffany says:

    Is baby booger (that is the affectionate nick-name, right?) really going to be the last?? It would seem a shame to not have a least a dozen clarks. 🙂

  11. Violet says:

    ReneeFL said: “When I get caught up in my insufficiencies, God reminds me that my job is to lift them up before His throne and turn them to Him for what they need.” Amen to that! Now that my four are basically grown (25, 22, 21, 17), I’m finally catching on to the huge need for me to literally “pray without ceasing.” Several verses the Lord led me to about three years ago are in I Sam. 12:20-25, where Samuel is speaking to the Israelites after they have clamored for a king. He instructs them, encourages them, warns them, and promises to pray for them. My years of instructing and warning are pretty much passed; however, “God forbid that I should sin against the LORD in ceasing to pray for you.” The more I pray, the more I learn to trust and see things from God’s perspective, realizing that He is in complete control (always was, always will be), and can accomplish His purpose so much better when I keep my meddling fingers out of the way! Ah…hindsight is always clear, isn’t it? I’m just thankful that even with all my blunders, He makes everything beautiful in His time.

  12. Holly says:

    I love that picture of the little girls at your side bar! My girls still have tea parties…such fun!

    Dawn – I have done the same thing lately with my children – various children. I spend a lot of time apologizing. I know they forgive, quite graciously, in fact – but at some point I REALLY need to stop doing this. I need to come to the point where I always expect the BEST!

  13. winkies6 says:

    Ummm, excuse me, but I think we are getting your weather again. Don’t know if you like ice storms, but we had that this morning with a brief power outtage (2 minutes?) and now, it’s snowing. Can you come and pick up your snow please? 🙂

  14. DOG GONE IT! 🙂 I KNEW someone had to be getting my snow. They teased us with the thought of 10 – 12″ and we MIGHT if I scoop the whole yard into a pile, have a full inch. sigh…… (Mind you, just over the border, there is enough to close schools.) 😦

  15. OOPS – that’s me, big mamajava, not the minibean

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