Brains in a blender (Homeschooling adventure Part II)

I get motion sick. I get motion sick BAD. When I took the boat out to look at the wreckage at Pearl Harbor, I laid on the floor of the boat, with a bag. (With people stepping over me!) I begged to be allowed to swim back to shore, rather than endure another boat ride. It’s so bad that I can’t even take my children on the merry-go-round without ending up sick.

So, you can guess, I am certain, the end result of my Aunt insisting that I should ride with her on the Tilt-a-Whirl. This tool of torture has something that resembles half a barrel, with seats, basically a steering wheel in the center of it and a cage door to keep all its victims held captive. All of this is planted firmly on a tilting, spinning platform. Despite my grand protests, my Aunt decided I could endure this “short” little ride. Suffice it to say, she was wrong. The people in the little barrels surrounding mine could attest to that as well. Please note, I have found when you are hit with flying…bodily emissions when on a carnival ride, the intensity of your enjoyment is diminished significantly.

The similarities to the state of my brain while dealing with all that the Lord wanted to change in our family in conjunction to homeschooling matched very closely the state of my stomach when on the Tilt-A-Whirl. The constant motion, the sense of being horribly off balance and the thought that an explosion of all the contents was imminent, were my normal state of being during those months that I wrestled with the Lord.

I have learned, that nearly every new place that the Lord takes me, requires my brain to be removed from my head, thrown into His blender, whirred around a bit and then poured back into my head. (Thankfully, God has a steady hand, lest I should find that I am not just a bear of little brain, but rather a bear of spilled brain.) If this is not what happens, I can assure you, it certainly feels that way.

Every new process has a season where I am certain that I am something akin to Human Hamburger…98% ground blonde. You may not have noticed, but I tend to be a tad bit on the passionate side. (I know, I hide it well) So, whenever the Lord takes on a remodeling job in my brain, it generally leans toward the really intense. I find that when I’m in the throes of His renewing my mind, I simply can’t explain it or even share in something that could even faintly resemble lucid, all that He is showing me in His Word and all that His Spirit is speaking to me. (Julie can attest to this, as I tried to communicate to her recently some of the things that the Lord is working in me now….babbling is a higher form of communication than I can muster at this point of the process.)

The months of transitioning from where I was to where I am now fit this mold perfectly. I was a blonde in a blather. So, trying to take those months of deep, gut wrenching change and turn them into words to allow you to share in the process….I can do it, but can you read it, is the issue at hand? 😉

To say that school was hard during those months is an understatement. I hated what we were doing. I tried everything I could think. I spent many dollars, thinking that each new thing was “the” answer. Finally, after months of running and chasing after every new curriculum, idea or homeschool “thing” that came down the pike, I simply cried out to the Lord, “FATHER!!! WHAT DOES OUR HOMESCHOOL NEED?!!” The answer was quiet, it was simple, it was peace-filled. My soul LONGED for peace – “Me.” That was His answer.

Great! So what does THAT mean? How do I infuse our homeschooling with God? We were studying the Word, didn’t that mean that He was in our homeschool? We were studying creation and math and all the things that He has created, how could we be missing HIM in our homeschool? I’m sorry, I don’t know that I can explain it still….I just came to a place where there was a new sense of the fact…the F.A.C.T. that our school was God’s school. It was His place to grow and change my children. It was His gifts, His strengths in my children, that I was called to bring forth.

No longer was our school to be about school – it was to be about God. It was to be about the things that He wanted to do in our children. It was to be about the character that He wanted revealed in them. The academics were secondary to everything else that He wanted to do. I was not to fear that I would raise children too ignorant to balance their checkbook. No longer was I to fear that I would not be doing enough to teach them physics and calculus and any other higher form of thinking. I was to fear God and God alone. The school system, the neighbors, my in-laws, they all became secondary. The landscape was changing and the view that needed to fill my screen, was God – His greatness, His goodness, His holiness, His majesty, His creation, His faithfulness, His history, His agenda, His plan, His children. And all things were to come under His rule and reign.

To be continued, yet again……

(Edit: As I walked away from this, I was struggling with how to put into words the weight of the understanding that grew in me during this time of my place of importance in my children’s lives.  Then, I went to Crystal’s blog.  This will explain better than anything I wanted to say.)

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3 Responses to “Brains in a blender (Homeschooling adventure Part II)”
  1. “It was to be about the things that He wanted to do in our children”
    This is what I needed to hear, shug. I love all the curriculum. I’ve been teased about wanting to homeschool so I could continue to “play school” and read all day:) I have so many ideas about what *I* want to to teach my kids, what *I* want them to learn. It is so hard to sit back and ask God, gulp, what He wants my kids to learn. What if He says no to (fill in the blank with one of the nine million things I want to do)? Or, even scarier, what if He wants me to teach something I don’t like? For example, do I really have to teach them algebra? Yuck. And…I get the feeling He’s more concerned with their character than anything I’m going to teach them from books anyway…which probably means a lot of work on ME, huh?
    I’m so glad you’re talking about this now just when I’m starting to really think about kindergarten next fall and all the neat books we’re going to order and…well, it’s a good idea for me to focus a little:) Especially since next fall is going to be busy…..;)

  2. Deanne says:

    Coming over from TQ. While I will give the java to hubby, I’ll take the chocolate.
    Speaking of naseau, that has been my day of waking up and losing it. No reason really, we do wash our hands almost continually. I can relate to the motion sickness. Husband and I decide to ride a wooden roller coaster, after all, it was small than the modern one. How much harm could it do? Apprenhensively, I climbed aboard sitting in the front row because of course this is slower than the last seat which gets rip around. About half way through they slowed the torture machine down and I begged to get off. Nope just because the was a place for me to climb out and climb down the stairs, they would not let me. Okay I warned them. Gracious God allow me to hold it all in until we landed on Earth. Okay it didn’t feel like Earth to me cause we don’t actually feel the Earth rotating or revolvig right? Weak kneed and shaking all over, I climb out of the torture machine took my 2- steps and lost everything I ever had in my stomach. Remember there are 30 people in line watching and waiting to go on the same torture machine. I knew how to clear that line. Zoom, only a few hard headed strong stomached people remained in line after seeing me annoit the planet.
    Okay I did go voluntarily but I did warn them when it didn’t work.
    Perhaps I was dreaming about this last night.
    Boats, planes, someone else’s driving, pregnancy, smell from fine restaurants etc. can send me back to the place of climbing off the roller coaster.

    Probably not what you wanted to discuss but here you are after reading about it queezy(sp) as ever.
    A nice cup of peppermint tea should take care that.

    Brains in the blender, I just thought that was how it worked. Emotions run deep in my family.(Jonah)

    I concur on prayer to the Father. Mad, sad, hurt, happy, He just loves us to come sit at His feet. Sometimes I even think, if I could sit on His lap, then of I would probably start to think more highly of myself than I ought. Sitting at His feet is where I feel more comfortable. Imagine having Him stroke your hair and tell you wonderful things of how we struggle too much and He so delights in giving us the desires of our hearts.

    Ooh I am running long.
    Deanne

  3. javadawn says:

    Deanne, you just feel free to come run long, here any time you want to.

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