You’ll Never Be the Same

Chapter One.  Well?  What did you think?  Have you read this book before?  Have you contemplated the concept of honor before?  What areas came to your mind when you pondered on where honor is missing from your family? Do you think this is do-able?  Do you believe this statement: “For every form of selfishness in a family, there’s an honor-based solution.” ?

I won’t lie, this was very hard for me to make the shift from training my children’s behavior and instead training their hearts.  Well behaved children can be a lot less messy, there’s no doubt about it.

SO, what questions are poised in your heart?

42 Responses to “You’ll Never Be the Same”
  1. reneegrace says:

    Eeew. How honest must we be? I loved it because though I have never comtemplated the concept of honor, it reminds me of my sister, and she used to tell me to respect our kids, which is similar.

    I made Bryan read the first chapter, and he even through it in a conversation with Keenan! 🙂

    First off, I see that before I can expect change in my children, I must address my own issues of honor… do I honor them?? And do they treat each other like they see me treat the other? Do I bark out orders on my time line giving no thought to their preference or what they are in the middle of it or their view of the situation?

    I am excited about this book! And I like that I will only read one chapter a week, so I can ponder be changed, instead of filing it away as one more good book read!

  2. Susan says:

    Whats the book again?

  3. Well… it sounds great! Honor each other as more important than yourself? Yep, I’m ready to exchange this for selfishness and bickering. I did find myself wondering if this was really realistic on a consistent basis. And also HOW in the heck to achieve this… on a consistent basis.

    “It seems that many parenting books have been written by authors who have compliant children.” p. 7

    I’ll second that! I have a DD who has some physical and psychological challenges. ADHD and impulsivity are right up there on the list. I appreciate that the authors realize that real-life isn’t always so neat and tidy, apply one method and it’ll all work fine. Though I’m still wondering if it’s realistic for DD to think of honor before she impulsively acts out towards others. She doesn’t always care about consequences at the time.

    And for myself? How do I practically do this when I’m dealing with my own problems like post-partum depression/anxiety and the stress of having four children ages 6 and under with no family or friend support around. I’ll do great for a while, but it only takes being caught off-guard one time to blow it all. Other times it seems like all it takes is a poor night’s sleep or illness to make it seem impossible to get off of this roller coaster.

    Reneegrace: Yep, good point about if we are honoring them first. I know at times I’ve expected them to get with the program even if I’m being unreasonable b/c “I’m the parent, darn it!”

  4. Javadawn says:

    Susan – book by Turansky/Miller “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes in you and your kids!” Will you be able to join us? I hope so. It’s a great book.

    ReneeGrace, yes, honoring them first is key – honor is different than respect, but it is KEY. (And Jeff is re-reading this with me this time, too – and he asked if he’d be allow to blog – so some of the time, you’ll see his male perspective up here.) 🙂 Maybe we’ll get Bryan talked into throwing up a few comments too? 😉
    OH – and you DO recall I said I was cringing a bit at doing this book, because of the depth of humility that I would be suffering, right??? HUMILIATIONS GALORE, I fear. 🙂

    Anne, busy Anne 🙂 ~ that’s the amazing, God quality of all this – one, it isn’t something we can do in our own strength. It requires us to depend on Father to accomplish….us AND our kiddos. So, yes, with time, with training, you CAN (and should) expect to see some fruit in your daughter.
    And best of all? You don’t blow it when you miss the mark one time – or even ten times. You see, that’s another amazing thing about honoring one another – there’s grace for BOTH of you. You for them and them for you. I think you will find that this is very different from anything you’ve been taught before. 🙂

  5. Yes, I understand that about the own strength part. How this plays out in a practical way I’m a little more fuzzy on. I’ve experienced how much the physical can affect the mental (and vice versa of course) and get weary of thinking that every time I’m struggling it’s all b/c I’m not depending on Him. Suddenly I get a good night’s sleep or I take my progesterone- supplement and I’m doing a lot better… so was I not depending on Him or was I just tired or hormone-imbalanced?

    And I’m glad to hear about grace. It’s only been recently that I’ve started to comprehend it for all of life. I grew up well-versed in rules and legalism and I was *saved* by this thing by grace, but the grace seemed to end there.

    It was actually a group called Gentle Christian Mothers and their talk about grace-based parenting that started me in on understanding God’s grace overall, though I have a long way to go and have a hard time accepting it. I find when I do focus on grace and resting in it and accepting it that things seem to work out a lot better!

  6. winkies6 says:

    *sniff*sniff* Mine hasn’t come yet. 😦 I’m looking forward to it, tho. 🙂

  7. javadawn says:

    Anne, find “Transforming Grace” by Jerry Bridges. If you haven’t read it yet, you need to. 🙂 If you’ve already read it before, you need to read it again. (I could read it every couple of months. In fact…..)

  8. Yes, Ma’am! I haven’t read that book, but I will get it. Most of my adult life I read books that claimed God’s Way to live. I was seeking the right way to do everything (especially parenting). Things were so black and white back then. Several things turned everything upside-down over the last few years, and I’ve been floundering a bit ever since. …Flirting with this grace thing, but having trouble not going back to my old legalistic, punitive, performance-based mindset. So I look forward to reading this!

  9. Holly says:

    I have read the first chapter…and the second…and the third. I’m obsessive. Couldn’t stop. 🙂

    I’m eager to read and learn and discuss! Having seven children doesn’t mean that we have this thing down pat!

    I will admit to knowing that so much of the changes need to begin with me – but now always knowing *how* to do that. I am willing (I think) but the how has escaped me, often.

    I will also admit that I am a little “leery,” although I don’t want to be! I have read SO many parenting books, that start out great…but by the last third of the book I KNOW that the entire system is built on something I can’t or won’t implement! I’m just …jumpy. 🙂

    Anne – I can relate to what you are saying about “dependence”…the not knowing how much of the struggle is physical (imbalance or fatigue) and how much is spiritual. They are so intertwined at times.

    But I have found…(and I hope that I say this right. I have seven kids around me in the kitchen right now…) that dependence comes even during and through the fatigue/health issues. Dependence and faith and trusting doesn’t come through times of health, only. Sometimes it takes (during those hardest times) a conscientious effort to open our hands and say, “You take it. I can’t do it.” It’s not necessarily about how loving and peaceful we feel inside (I think that part comes) at the point we are interacting with them…but more about what we actually say, speak and do. (Which is a real wrestling and struggling thru type of thing.) The other really cool thing is….(And I’ve been where you are…non compliant child, health issues, not so great health in mama) I have found that as I ask, God gives wisdom for those issues…which often results in a change for the better. I’m not trying to sound pollyanna-ish…(I think that is what sometimes people see me as)…but just trying to give hope as one who has been through some of the hard times.

    And yes – in times of imbalance (whether physical or mental) we will fail…mess up miserably. That is another thing that I am learning as a mom…how to carry on in the relationship even SO! (Not to keep wounding the child’s heart, purposefully and willfully…but when you pray, and sincerely and honestly do the best you can through God’s strength…to get back up from where you fell – apologize- and get back to growing! It is acknowledging that life and *we* aren’t perfect, but that we love each other and are trying. That, to me – is part of what grace is about. I am still learning this lesson with my *own* parents…even at the age of 38 (me) and 82 and 70 (them.)

    Sorry to take up so much of the space, Dawn. I would promise to “not” do it again…but I doubt that I could keep that promise. 🙂

    And please, ladies, feel free to correct my thinking if you feel I have said something amiss! 🙂

  10. MamaKayB says:

    I read this book a few years ago and remember thinking it was a good idea but it just didn’t stick with me. Reading it again now it seems like the timing is much better. For one thing for the first time in our parenting life my dh & I seem to be on the same page about trying to implement some changes in our parenting style and he is taking the lead.

    Another God thing I think — is that we have the opportunity to go to a parenting seminar tonight by a Christian homeschooling parent who was trained by the National Center for Biblical Parenting! My dh is an audio learner and agreed to go with me. It looks like a lot of same material from the book will be covered tonight at the seminar.

    I love their definition of honor. (We wrote it up on our board in the kitchen so we could memorize it.)
    Treating people as special, Doing more than what’s expected, and having a good attitude. I’m really looking forward to learning for myself and teaching our children how to do this.

  11. I just got my book ( a BIG thank you! btw) and I can’t wait to dive in. This is an idea that really resonates with me, but I haven’t ever really stopped to think about how to implement it or how it would look in real life or even really how to discuss it with dh in a way that would make sense. I can’t wait!

  12. Violet says:

    With my children mostly grown and gone (youngest is 17), and having read many parenting books through the years (but not this one), I would just make an observation based on my own perspective.

    I was always searching for way to guarantee the outcome recorded in III John 4 – “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.” I realize now that the greatest need for me personally was to look to God’s Word and obey His commandments for me. I think the first chapter of Turansky/Miller could be summarized very nicely from Phil. 2:3-5 – “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” Does this guarantee positive results in my kids? Not necessarily. But it does guarantee growth in me, and wisdom for dealing with my individual children, and grace to pursue love (going after the benefit of their souls).

    My fear with any “parenting” book (even this one as good as it sounds), is that the impression is given that if you live this way, the positive results will always come (i.e. saying goodbye to whining…or whatever). The emphasis seems to be in the wrong place. Of course, we all want to get rid of bad attitudes in our children and ourselves, but I think the way to accomplish that is to soak up the Word ourselves and then Live it, Talk about it constantly (Deut. 6:6,7), and leave the results in God’s hands.

    I would heartily second Dawn’s recommendation of Transforming Grace by Jerry Bridges. That book did more to transform my thinking on all of life than any other (except the Bible).

  13. Holly: I agree about the dependence through struggles, but not necessarily that it will get all better. I’ve been working with my own children on letting me help them obey or not lash out when they are having trouble instead of getting into an adversarial blaming mode. It has really helped at times. I know that’s what I need to do as well. If I’m having trouble- not to blame God or myself, but to admit and ask for help. Very humbling!

    Violet: GREAT POINT! I know when I realized that I couldn’t “save” or “control” (as in control their thoughts etc.) my kids… that I could only put them in His hands. Well that was a HUGE turning point for me! I think it’s good to remember that there is no magic formula in parenting… that will guarantee that I won’t go through challenging times with my DD.

  14. Jenna says:

    As a mama with only one child at home, I think that I felt a little disconnected in the first chapter- since they were talking about how people’s ideals change from one child to the next, until they are just wanting to “survive”.

    I highlighted “Honor thinks of what would please someone else and gives more than is expected. It’s putting someone else’s needs above your own.” (pg.10) I never really thought of that as honor, I guess. I considered that to fall strongly in the category of love, and that honor would include things like having truth and moral integrity. I look forward to exploring this definition of honor, and reading examples of what it looks like in action when speaking specifically about child/parent relationships. 🙂

  15. Tiffany says:

    I think I’m just going to have to keep reading because the idea of this (teaching honor) sounds so wonderful. But the practical application to the instruction of an almost 3yo and 1yo is so beyond my comprehension. I do a lot of explaining concepts that I know they don’t get now (like we don’t wildly swing our legs around next to other people because it can hurt them- we need to be mindful of our own bodies and respectful of other people’s as well) but the actually teaching of honor to deal with the toddlerness of getting into the bookshelf or playing with the DVD player or throwing a temper tantrum or not coming when called? I just have no idea of how this works.

    So, I’m off to read more.

  16. Holly says:

    Anne –

    No, I don’t think it will ALL get better. I’m sorry if I implied that.

    But I do believe that we should have hope for improvement. Hope is so essential for our spirits! Not high expectations that can never be met – but hope! If we don’t hope…why try?

  17. Holly,
    I’ve been reading and typing while distracted, so I didn’t mean to imply that you implied that! 🙂

    I guess I’m thinking in a more generalized spritual way about hope and really examining what or WHO our hope is in. Like I hope that my kids will serve and love God. But if I pin all my HOPE on this, and won’t be happy or content or okay with God unless this happens… well, that’s misplaced hope… idolatry even. Of course our ultimate hope is in Christ and being with Him in heaven, right? (I know you believe this! 🙂 ) So for me the question becomes, is He and eternal life in heaven enough to carry me through all the junk in this life? I hope so! 🙂

  18. Tiffany,

    LOL- I bought the book a few years ago when my oldest was only four, and thought the same thing. My thinking has really evolved on this topic to not so much what my baby/toddler should be doing, but how can I show them honor.

    I show honor to my eight-month-old by respecting her needs for my attention and care even if it isn’t very fun or convenient for me (like at 3 a.m.!!)

    I show honor to my 20-month-old by being patient with him, by not over-reacting with dismay or impatience when he’s climbed on the table and spilled several ounces of maple syrup and is rubbing his hands around in it (happened this morning.)

    I attempt to show honor to all of my children by showing them they are important to me and treating them like I would want to be treated. I’ve really been convicted recently about how I talk to my children (even the baby and toddler) when they are doing something I don’t like. Do I talk down to or scold them? Do I make them feel stupid or shame them? I wouldn’t do that to another adult I respect, so I shouldn’t do that to them.

    You bring up temper tantrums- I’m pretty darn familiar with these! LOL I show honor to my child who is out of control by not getting angry and self-righteous and thinking “how dare they!” I can show honor by not retaliating against or venting my anger against my tantruming child. Or worrying about what other people will think if they see them act a certain way.

    On the flip side, I show my temper-tantruming child honor by providing calm, loving guidance and helping them calm down. We can provide honor by not giving them their way as a result of a tantrum. I show honor to my child by forgiving them when they do something wrong and not holding it against them.

    I think this is something that looks promising about this book- honor goes both ways.

  19. Tiffany says:

    Anne- thanks for some practical (and helpful) thoughts. I’m temporarilly encouraged because there is much of that we’re already doing. Of course I’m wondering if I’m prematurely patting myself on the back….not wondering really, pretty sure of it.

    To give a little back ground on where I am at IRL, I have two sets of Christian mom friends- one set who spank/swat for every disobedience starting around 10months or so and one set who thinks spanking is either wrong and/or a last resort which they regret later. Thing is we aren’t of either persuaion and so I can get so confused in tryign to figure out what is right for our family. I don’t want to press them too hard with my questions and thoughts because I dont’ want them to think I am challenging the way they parent or trying to change them, but rather just seeking more knowledge.

    I think that can be one of the great things about bouncing our ideas around online. If I ask a question/make a comment someone on here isn’t going to think I’m personally attacking a behavior of them or their children. We’ve never met so you have no idea that my child smacked me one in the head when I told her no earlier…..;-) so when you say how much you abhor it when children hit their parents I won’t think it is a personal jibe at me. 🙂

    And Holly and Anne- so with you on the hard physical state=making the spiritual state hard=making parenting harder. It is a tough road.

  20. Holly says:


    You wrote: “So for me the question becomes, is He and eternal life in heaven enough to carry me through all the junk in this life? I hope so! :)”

    Holly says: Yes! 🙂 I am coming to this conclusion in my life. It’s one of those things I KNOW (head knowledge) but to realize, internalize, “let it be a reality…” (life knowledge, experience, heart knowledge) has been slower in coming.

    He IS enough – even if EVERYTHING else is a failure, a mess up, the death of a dream. He is still enough, alone.

    Blessings to you, dear sis! 🙂

  21. mamashortcake says:

    Just chiming in to say I’m “listening in”, but too tired today to add very much :). I enjoyed the practical ideas regarding showing honor to our littles….that’s where I am at too…though I do think they understand a LOT more than we think. I didn’t realize it until we had our third….his communication skills are very good so therefore I have a much better understanding of what a (just turned) 2 yo understands than I ever did with my other two. I actually felt really dumb for not realizing how smart these little guys are! I think they can understand about honor and loving others and what is right and wrong better than we tend to think, and I think past generations (like *way* past, not the last few!!!) understood this when you look at how they taught/viewed their littles. I have found some real gems of parenting advice in reading OLD books, even books for children that just have descriptions of parent-child relationships! Now I realize there are many times these little guys just don’t WANT to honor others (from the mother who carried the kicking and screaming toddler out of Target the other day!!!), but I think they really can understand what it means.

    I still have to admit though that I am feeling very confused and leary about all this…my fear is that these ideas are a parenting “fad”, a sort of pendulum swing against the last few decades of stronger authoritarian parenting (which were a pendulum swing against the Dr. Spock permissive era). I LOVE what I am reading and am plodding on (I’m on chapter 6), but I am still feeling cautious. There is so much in the church now that is going WAAAAYYYY off of mainstream orthodox Christianity, and honestly I don’t think that’s good. I am just afraid of being sucked into that. Well there’s my very honest, even if not very helpful, “not much to add” for today :D.

  22. Michelle says:

    Wow! Talk about “miss a day, you miss a lot..”! Maybe I’m gonna have to start skipping homeschool coop to stay home and do book discussion on Mondays ;o).

    Anne, I have a teen-aged boy who is bipolar and an 8 yo. daughter who has a form of autism, so I’m right there with you on methods not always working with our kids. I also understand (painfully so) the physical/emotional/spiritual fatigue you experience. Add to that any illness or hormonal imbalance (these too have been my companions) and parenting can be very hard. For us, parenting is more of an art than a science. I have no answers for you except to ask the Lord to show you how HE would have you apply what is being discussed in this book and in this forum to the family you have at home; and to let you know we struggle together, my sister.

    Tiffany, on the “to spank or not to spank” issue, I think the key is not so much what this group of friends does or that group does, because this is imitating man. I think the key is going to be asking God to show you who your children are and what will work for them…and it will probably be different for each of them. This is something John and I didn’t do so hot on…we applied the parenting methods equally to each of our children, jamming the children into holes they were not made for. Looking back, we should have spanked Gabe less often, but it has been a very effective tool for Anna. Tool being the key word here. Spanking is a tool, just like a hammer is a tool. When you want to pound a nail in the wall, a hammer is what you need; but it’s not so great for anchoring the porcelain toilet to the floor–tends to shatter stuff. For certain children, spanking is exactly what you need, for others it only makes things worse.

    I think my “aha!” moment this week came with the reminder that no matter how much I pour myself into parenting, my children are not robots to be programmed or MY works of art that will turn out the way I want them to. They are people created by God with wills of their own. I can INFLUENCE them (admittedly heavily) for the Lord, but the results are not up to me; they are between my child and the Holy Spirit. It’s not that I’m not concerned with the results or really heavily invested in them, it’s just that no matter what I do, I can’t control them anyway so spinning my wheels is not a good investment of my time or physical/emotional/spiritual energy.

    Dawn, are there word limits? I think I’ve just exceeded mine :oD I’ll sit down now and let someone else have a turn on the floor.

  23. Tiffany says:

    Michelle- yes! That is exactly what I was trying to get at in my ramblings! That it isn’t a matter of not wanting or wanting their methods, but rather we’re trying ot figure out what it the best method for our children. What I was trying to convey is that being rather in process with this, and not having a clear “this is how we always handle discpline” has left us open to a lot of “well this is the way Christians handle discipline, just do this”. Not that we so much are wanting to do things like everyone else, but that it can be hard to figure out which is our right way in the middle of people who are so passionate about their way being right.

    And on a side note- you have a Gabriel and and Anna? Our daughter is and Ana’el (Ah-na-eh-l) and our first son we are planning on naming Gabriel.

  24. Violet says:

    “I think my “aha!” moment this week came with the reminder that no matter how much I pour myself into parenting, my children are not robots to be programmed or MY works of art that will turn out the way I want them to. They are people created by God with wills of their own. I can INFLUENCE them (admittedly heavily) for the Lord, but the results are not up to me; they are between my child and the Holy Spirit. It’s not that I’m not concerned with the results or really heavily invested in them, it’s just that no matter what I do, I can’t control them anyway so spinning my wheels is not a good investment of my time or physical/emotional/spiritual energy.”

    Yes, Michelle. So well said!

  25. javadawn says:

    msc, May I suggest you pray before reading any further in this book? Whenever I’m reading and I’m feeling confused and/or leary, I always take time to pray – and ask Father to open the eyes of my understanding. I tell Him (mostly for the sake of my own heart) that I desire to be obedient – it is my DESIRE to obey my Lord – and ask Him to point out anything that He wants me to “get” and to make me attentive to anything that is contrary to His Word. I have found the Holy Spirit very faithful to do that for me. (AND if you ever borrow a book after I’ve read it, in addition to the highlighting all over it, you will see notes throughout it. One of which will be “W?” Which means I’m looking for a Scripture to support whatever the author is purporting. Jeff tells me reading behind me is a trip. I yell at authors, I compliment them and I argue with them, all in the margins.) 🙂

  26. Holly says:

    Having borrowed some of your books…I can vouch for that! 🙂

  27. Michelle says:


    Yes, we have a Gabriel (13), Nathan (almost 12), Anna (8), and Emma (19 mo.)

    As for “this is the way Christians do it”, well…in my small circle of acquaintenances, I know committed Christians who are overly permissive, committed Christians who are overly strict, committed Christians who seem to be really effective parents, and everything else along the spectrum.

  28. mamashortcake says:


    I should have known better than to post a comment when I was so tired 😀 . I should have clarified that it wasn’t anything in the book that I felt leary about, actually I love what I have read so far, and it really helps me to understand some things even that I have read elsewhere. I just meant I was leary about becoming too permissive, which GBP can seem to be sometimes depending on how you look at it/what you read – it would be easy for me to fall into that (I *was* too permissive with my oldest and now I am still paying for that, then I overreacted and became too harsh in response 😦 … I am not good at being balanced 😀 , my dh is always telling me MODERATION!!!! I *do* appreciate your admonition to submit my fear/apprehension before the Lord…..I can tend to forget to do that, DUH…where’s the ashamed face?

    I also want to recommend the book “Transforming Grace”. I am currently reading it, slowly, but it is very good! Okay, I am off to fold laundry :). Good night all!

  29. ReneeFL says:

    FYI — Amazon will let you read the first (& most of the second) chapter online!

  30. reneegrace says:

    I have noticed my heart has been pricked A LOT this week with the word honor. It is not over different things than usual, but seems to be more persistent and urgent, maybe with this new word “honor” not already over used in my head and heart!!

    Its good! 🙂

  31. 🙂 Funny how the Holy Spirit does those kinds of things, huh?
    I have had a week full of seeing areas where honor has fallen away in our household, too. Ugly, but good. 🙂

  32. javadawn says:

    Ooops – that was supposed to be me.

  33. Michelle says:

    I read the section about the gift of dirt representing dishonor and the gift of candy bars representing honor to the kids yesterday after devotions, then I challenged them to do one thing to show honor to someone else that day. It was a good day, more peaceful, less bickering…then again it could’ve just been a change in my heart attitude ;o)

  34. Tiffany says:

    I read that section, but had no idea how to apply it with a 2 year old? I don’t think she’d get the idea just yet. Any ideas?

  35. javadawn says:

    Tiffany – I think you might be surprised at how much she gets. 🙂 Our dd was 2 when we started into this and she got it right away. We offered her some fruit or some dirt to eat. We told her that when we use words that are honoring (and we used the term, btw) it was like offering something sweet and yummy to someone. We would remind her by saying, “Sweet words are honoring words.” We also had her memorizing Phil 2:3 as well. (Only we had her say, “Do nothing out of selfishness or pride, but in all things think of others as being more important than yourself.”) She seemed to get it better than we did sometimes. :/

  36. Tiffany says:

    Ok….but what if she eat the dirt and likes it like today at the beach? The sand was a much bigger hit for snacks than the fruit we brought…..:)

    But seriously, I’m not worried that my daughter is behing verbally and intellectually….I don’t think she can say a lot of those words. She’s on the cusp for sure, but not there yet. Did you start the memory stuff before she could say the words? I love using words that are full of meaning and beautiful (like honor) so we do that a lot, but the saying it back is what I wonder.

    Ack, brain fried from the sun and surf…..I’ll be back after I’ve had some sleep.

  37. javadawn says:

    LOL Wellllll…..that certainly does put a damper on things. 😀

    I understand the words are hard – we didn’t expect her to say them, we just wanted her to hear them again and again and again….so as she COULD participate, we’d quote the verse and leave a word out that she would/could fill in. (Not sure I’m making a whole lot of sense here – let me know if I’m not.)

  38. April says:

    Well, I finally got my book and started reading. I can tell I have newborn-baby-related sleep deprivation — I think I’ve read some paragraphs about 20 times and still couldn’t tell you what they say! 🙂

    I gotta say — I am so excited about this book! It seems to me to be so practical and yet so much more than a book of techniques. I LOVE the focus on the heart of our children, though I think *I’m* the one that’s being convicted of the lack of honor in my own life. (FYI, Dawn — it had me heading back to your xanga site to get some of your past posts on honoring our bodies — thanks for keeping that there.)

    Tiffany, the oldest of my two children is two — 24 1/2 months old. I can relate to your questions. I started trying to talk about honor with her the last few days. I don’t know that she’s getting it, but I am glad to have the chance to practice and I feel like I have reacted to her so much more positively. Perhaps by the time she understands the words, I’ll know how to say them in a way that conveys the first time what I want her to get from them. So maybe trying to put this into place now will actually be an advantage for us– though we probably won’t get the feedback moms of older children will get.

    Ok. Well, that’s the beginning of my disjointed thoughts. I’m going to bed!

  39. Tiffany says:

    April- I think you’re right. We aren’t going to be getting the immediate feedback like parents of an 8 year old, but my hope/desire/prayer is that my children won’t remember a time when we weren’t talking about the issues of the heart. That it will simply be a very natural thing around here.

    Best wishes with the sleep deprivation! My littlest is 14 mo. now and I am still reading paragraphs multiple times, so don’t feel alone!

  40. Margie says:

    Dawn, I have been away from your blog while battling with some issues on the home front. I read this book several years ago and really liked it. In fact, I liked it so much that I bought Good and Angry – Exchanging Frustration for Character by the same authors. I will try to get this book from the library and join in the discussion.

  41. javadawn says:

    Margie, I have an extra one, honey, let me know if you need me to send it to you.

  42. Margie says:

    I just checked the library and they don’t have a copy. I would love to borrow one from you. 🙂 Do you have my address? I thought I sent it to you on the prayer loop at one time. If not, just send me an email and I’ll send it along.

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