Whining ~ Six ways to Teach Honor to Children

What about to adults???  😉

“Teaching honor is trickier than teaching obedience, since honor is a gift.”  (Did anyone else hear a THUD when they read that?)

Honor Lesson #1: Teach children to treat people as special.

Honor Lesson #2: Teach children to do more than what’s expected.

Honor Lesson #3: Deal with a bad attitude.

Honor Lesson #4: Create honor lessons in life.

Honor Lesson #5: Model it.

Honor Lesson #6: Appeal to conscience.

Okay, there they are – all six of them.  What did you think?  Does this help you in your process of parenting?  Hinder?  What ways did you see honor this last week, that weren’t there before?  Are you finding this an easy book to read or are you feeling like shredded Mom in a bowl?  Are you discussing it with your husband?  What is his take on it?

Any other thoughts/words/input?

11 Responses to “Whining ~ Six ways to Teach Honor to Children”
  1. Margie says:

    I am particularly challenged by teaching that honor is doing more than what is expected. It seems that our society is busy determining what must be done to get by. I am reminded of the pass/fail philosophy. There is no doing the very best on all, just do enough to pass. I’m not sure where my girls have picked up this attitude, but it is there. I was always taught to do my very best and not stop until a job was done and done right. Just this last week we had a discussion about borrowing each other’s toys and returning them to the place they belong in good or better condition than you found them.

    I have to say that I struggle the most with dealing with bad attitude. Confession time: I often respond to bad attitude with a bit of ‘tude of my own. I had to confess and appologize to my oldest when I came down hard on her attitude on the weekend. She has just been awful. Not that it is an excuse for poor attitude, but the dear child started her very first period on Saturday (she is only 11.5 and that seems rather young to me but that is a different discussion entirely). Poor dear is fighting those womanly hormone battles–without the benefit of maturity that comes with age.

    It is good to be going through this book!

  2. I love having these six lessons laid out like this. It makes it so easy to say “okay, this is what we’re aiming for, this is what it looks like.” I have to be honest though. It feels like for every step we take forward, we’re taking two back. Not in any way to diminish my dh, but he is really struggling lately with his own attitude (I really am saying this in love – I feel like he’s under attack because he wants to get this under control so badly) and that’s making it hard for him to “hear” anything right now. I’m praying that this book will help both of us:)

    Margie – 11 is young, but not terribly so. I was still 10. My mom embarrassed me horribly 🙂 by telling one of her friends (well, really it embarrassed me that this woman ran up to me in the mall and said “congratulations! you’re a woman now!” which was ridiculous since I was in the fourth grade…), but please be sure to make her feel extra special even if her attitude could use some work:)

  3. Tiffany says:

    Margie- I was 11.5 too and horribly embaressed because none of my friends had started yet. I didn’t even tell my mom. Might I suggest (speaking from memory as the 11yo, not as experience as a mom) letting a fair bit slide this first time around, and then once she is feeling better maybe doing something special just the two of you and explaining to her the importance of not letting ourselves be ruled by our hormones but by the spirit of God. I know that first time, being very young, and very shy about all of, I would not have been receptive to correction/instruction/help. Just a thought. Best wishes to you both!

    Be back later with my thoughts on the book, been a long day!

  4. Michelle says:

    I’ll be praying for you both!

    Regarding the book, I still come at it with the understanding that no one book or parenting program will work for every child all the time. (At least not in my family, maybe God has given you ladies children that are all wired the same ;o) I read looking for jewels that will work with one or some child(ren) some of the time. I’m reading it to my husband as he has time and I’m reading the jewels to my children…giving them tools they can use.

    The boys have been really quick to pick up on the idea of honor. More often than not, the result thus far has been to temper my own responses to the children. (I’ve even had to apologize to my oldest son for not responding in an honoring way to him.) Yesterday in the van after a full day of coop classes I heard Nathan say to his sister “I know you want to talk about TV shows, but I’m kinda tired after classes and I just want to read awhile, can we talk about it when we get home?” Please understand that this is my daughter with autism and that sometimes she gets stuck in a loop and it’s like listening to a record with a skip in it and this is where she was at the time. I was really pleased to see him try a more honoring response.

  5. javadawn says:

    Michelle, WOW! That is SO cool. Please tell your son how proud of him I am. That is wonderful when our children grasp ahold of the idea of honor.

    Margie, I understand where you’re at – we now have 2 daughters who do the hormonal swing with me, along with a young man – things can be very….sanctifying around these parts. 😀

    As for the needing to ask your children’s forgiveness due to a lack of honor in your speech – honey, I find I do that often. The more I learn of honor (and I’m learning afresh this time, as I re-read this book) I find that my standards for what is and what is not honoring go up….exponentially.

    Shannon, my dear, not likely that any book, but The Word will do much to truly help. (gentle smile) BUT, I will sure be praying that reading with you will make the ground fertile for the loving hand of Father to execute change.

  6. Krina says:

    Hi Dawn, I caught on to this discussion a little behind but I got the book and am loving it already, as well as panicing about what I need to do, about me first … but at least I have a direction.

    I also wanted to tell you I have tagged you for an award, the details are on my site.

    Blessings this week, and thank you

  7. javadawn says:

    Krina, I’m so glad you’re enjoying the book. I agree, it’s really easy to read it all and just want to come unglued at how far from where I think I/we should be. (OH! Maybe I shouldn’t infer that you’re feeling like coming unglued – that’s definitely a “me-thing.”

    I need to finish up my quiet time – a Dawn tempted to come unglued AND who hasn’t had quiet time is an UGLY thing. 😀 When I’m done, I’ll drop in and see what you’re up to….this isn’t a “Most Likely to be Eating Chocolate while Reading This” award, is it?? Because my house is SANS chocolate!!!! S.A.N.S. And to read of such an award without any on hand….well, it might just be sufficient to cause that final ungluing to occur. 😉

  8. javadawn says:

    HEY! GET THIS!!!!! In my mail today, someone sent me a Hershey’s bar. I couldn’t believe it!

  9. Holly says:

    Heh. Chocolate in your mail? Who do you know??

  10. Kimberly says:

    Hi, Dawn! I also joined in on this a little late, but am really enjoying what I have read so far. Once again I’m amazed at God’s love for me. It had been a while since I had been in “choosing home” website and just this weekend I was there and found your blog on this book discussion. I immediately went out and got the book and started reading. Wow! Talk about dealings in my own life on honor. I just thank the Lord that He loves us too much to leave us where we are. As I’m reading, I’m thinking “ok Kim, these are all things that need to be happening in your life first.”
    Am I to understand that you all are reading one chapter a week? Chapter 3 really helped with the practical, and the how to of honor.

  11. javadawn says:

    Kimberly, Hey Kiddo!!! I’m so glad you’re here – yep, we’re doing a chapter a week. And yep, I’m getting my backside kicked and yep I am being reminded DAILY it’s the Lord’s kindness that leads me to repenctance and it needs to be MY kindness that helps lead my children. Sigh…. did I mention I was getting my backside kicked?!! 😕

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