For most of her life, she knew well the phrase, “Bought with a price.” From as far back as she could remember the other workers loved to remind her she was a purchase, not free-folk. And though they took great delight in reminding her, they could do nothing to make her feel like a purchase. But still….
While she was young, it didn’t seem to matter, but now that she was approaching being a young woman, the phrase held much more….fear than it ever had before. What would this Lord require of her? What did He expect her to do for Him? What burdensome task did He have for her that none of the other free-folk would do?
In addition to being “purchased” there was another aspect about her – one that she kept hidden, tightly against her heart. It was something about her that she only dared think about or dream of in the quiet, under the cover of dark. When all the rest of the workers had gone home or to their own rooms, she would sneak back down to the Great Hall and in the dark, she would allow her secret to escape.
You see, she was a dancer. Music flowed through her veins – it filled her head and at times it measured her steps. Everything about her longed to dance. She wanted to dance the sunrise in the morning and the sunset at night. The storms that came rolling down the mountains called her name, inviting her to come and dance their majesty, along with the rain. The water rolling over the stones in the creek beckoned her to dance its joy as it tumbled and went about its way. All of creation was a dance waiting to be danced – and her feet longed to step out each and every aspect of all of it!
Yet, recently, the music was being driven by something else… a pounding… now instead of the music of creation, the cry of “Purchased” vied for her ears. When she did the shopping for the Master, with each egg she placed into her basket, the phrase, “Bought” rang through her head. As she chose the fabric to be used in her Liege’s home, “Purchase” beat its own rhythm in her mind. Daily every fiber of her being was more and more aware of her position and it weighed upon her. With each new awareness, her dance became more stilted and slowed. It almost stopped altogether.
Finally the day arrived and the Master called her to Him. In fear she stood outside the massive wooden door waiting for Him to summon her inside. “Come child – do not hide in fear outside My room – enter!” Slowly she drug her once dancing feet across the floor. Her confusion and terror caused her feet to stumble and walk with none of her usual grace. Yet, her Master waited patiently, until she was before Him. “Child” He said….
There was no censure – there was no harshness in His voice. “Child, look at Me.” With all the courage she had within her, she lifted her face to look into the face of the One who had bought her – He who had purchased her – with the knowing she was His. His eyes were gentle, they were kind. “Do you know you have been bought and paid for?” “Yes m”Lord.” her voice was weak with fear. “Do you know what I bought you for? Do you know why I paid such a high price for you?” “No m’Lord.”
Thinking that this was the moment she had dreaded most of all, her stomach began to quiver and she thought her knees might fail. “I bought you, so that you could dance for Me.” Her head felt as though something had just exploded in it – lights and sound and color all rushed into one conflagration in her mind! “I’m sorry m’Lord?!!” “Dance, My child. It is My pleasure that you should dance for Me. I long to see the falling leaves danced in my hall. When I see the chicks in My barn yard, their soft down begs to have dance put to it. All that I survey of My Kingdom cries out for dances to be danced to it. You, my dear one, YOU have been bought that you might dance the dances of My dominion.”
“I don’t understand m’Liege. I am but a servant. I was not brought up to dance. What if I can not dance to please You?” “But daughter, the dance is within you – if you are dancing to bring Me pleasure – if you are dancing to bring Me glory – then I will be pleased. I realize you are still too young to understand the ways of Kings and Kingdoms, but the dance in you is there because I have commanded it to be so. I have been waiting until such a time as this – keeping you under My care, about the things I have for you to do, waiting until the hour is right. That hour has come. So now your Lord calls you to dance. This is the time that I have need of your dance in my Kingdom.”
And dance she did! The majesty of creation, the glory of her King and the fullness of His Kingdom were all found in the art of her feet. Some steps were light and airy, others pounded on the floor with great might and sound. Yet, each dance was done in obedience to her King, for His delight and to honor Him. And He was pleased.
Dear, dear ones. This story follows the steps of my heart. This past season has been very difficult, as I have come to know my Lord greater and to understand the beautiful, beyond my understanding, braid of gifts that He has created: the things that I delight in, twisted about the gifts He has placed in me, wrapped about projects waiting to be done in the Kingdom – all of which are for His glory, His pleasure and to advance His Kingdom. All my life I have understood that I was to be a worker. But, all my life there has been things in me that longed to find fruition in ways that I served.
Each step that the Lord has taken me on has required more of me to die. More of my own expectations of what my Master expected of me…more of my own expectations…more of the expectations others had on me – they all had to die. I was certain that when Father was done, there would be nothing left of me.
But as it is in the Upside Down Kingdom, the more of me He removed, the more of me is left when His work is done. Not that you might recognize that it was still me, it has been cleaned and purged by fire – but the core part of it – the Dawn-ish parts of me that He created to begin with – those parts are there. Matured, refined and better than I had ever hoped they could be. Best of all, with the purging, there is more room for the reflection of my Master to be revealed in me!
I am sharing all this with you, because Father has now called me to come dance my dance – to step out in new ways of serving Him. The things that He has birthed in me over this past long, at times arduous, year are soon to begin taking their own steps. Jeff and I, after much prayer, feel that the time is come for me to bring Javadawn to a close.
It’s been coming for some time – graciously the Lord took parts of it away from me a bit at a time. Asking me to give it up all together would have been horribly painful – this way, it just seemed like a natural growing and changing. But, there are aspects of it that are very hard yet – people that I have been blessed by richly, that will likely move in a different direction from what Father is calling me to.
So, what IS Father calling me to? Well, right now, Jeff and I have been given (by the Lord ) 2 books to write – with a third on the way. In addition to those books, we have been asked to do some pretty intensive, extensive and intense ghost writing. As if that were not enough to keep us busy, we have a PASSION to help other families who desire to become entrepreneurially minded (is that even a word?!!) find their way in this new maze.
We will be starting Clueless Christians, our website for just that purpose. It will have “He Said/ She Said” blogs (so if ever you find you’re needing a shot of Java – I’d LOVE to have you pop in for a visit!!) and a weekly newsletter. At Clueless Christians, we will be offering suggestions and ideas for discovering what dance your feet were created to dance and help you find the best options out there. (Julie! I have a GREAT source for your ebay goals, btw!!!) We have spent much of the last year searching out men and women of integrity to help with that.
In addition to Clueless Christians, we will be running The Christian Entrepreneurs Network. While the two may have times that they cover some of the same ground, The CENetwork is designed more to offer other entrepreneurial families the encouragement, the support and occassional boot that they need to do what the Lord has called them to do.
Please know that you are all welcome to join us at either location – but it will be pretty focused on God and entrepreneurialism, with family and other delicious goodies thrown in. I would be delighted to have you come and comment and hang out and maybe even find what it is that Father has placed in you that is waiting to be called out for the purpose of advancing His Kingdom. 🙂
As I leave, I desire to pray a blessing over each of you who have read here at Javadawn – for my life is richer because of you:
Heavenly, Gracious and Amazing Father, I lift these dear women (oh – sorry and men) to You. I would ask Father, that You would work in each of their lives, drawing them closer to You. For Father, it is in knowing You that our lives are made richer and more complete. It is in the being bound to You that we are set free. Lord, I don’t understand the ways of Your Kingdom – and I don’t need to – but I do know that You have a work for each of us to complete. A work ordained before time – for the purpose of advancing Your Kingdom. Father, lead each of us to that work, in Your perfect time. Lord, I thank You for this sweet and precious time that You have allowed me here. I feel so humbled, so honored and so astounded that anyone would choose to pop in and read here – let alone to comment. What evidence of grace in my life, Lord. Father, bless these people that are dear to me – grant them peace, greater understanding of You and passion for You, my Lord! Help them to be better moms, wives and Sisters in the Lord* – all for Your glory and their good. Grant that we all would walk in Your Truth – exuding Your light, that others may be brought to know You! For You, my King and for Your Kingdom! In Jesus’ Name, I pray. ~ Amen.
And may You be pleased, m’Lord.
Blessings dear ones! I just can’t thank you enough. Love, Dawn
PS Of course you can still email me – check the About Me section. With all the writing we’re doing – give me a day or two, okay? 🙂
*And husbands, fathers and Brothers, natch. 🙂