Now, Where Was I?

ImsosorryImsosorryImsosorryImsosorry!!!!!  Life simply got away from me and I haven’t had a single time I could sit down and finish God’s story!!  And I assure you – it IS HIS story!

So, where was I?  Oh yes, Friday morning – Jeff and I meeting for morning prayer – all snuggled together on the love seat.  (Which is a vision in and of itself.  My long legged husband, with his knees up around his nose!)  As we were praying, the phone rang – it was Jeff’s prayer partner.  He wondered if they could meet a bit early – he just wanted to pray a bit longer for Jeff that day.  (He had NO idea what had happened the day before!!)

Jeff left and it was just Father and I.  I tried to pray – but it was just so heavy to carry alone.  I want to try and clarify here – I wasn’t afraid of losing the van.  I wasn’t afraid of losing the house.  I WAS afraid of dishonoring the Lord.  I WAS afraid of any repercussions that this could have on our kiddos.  That was the only fear I was struggling with.

(I believe this was the fruit of all those months of arguing with God and having Him change our understanding of money.  My SOURCE of financial provision had not changed.  He was the same the day before, that day and would be the same forever after that.  It didn’t matter whether we had work pouring in or not – He was and is and will be the fullness of our Source!)

As I prayed, I cried out asking for forgiveness for dishonoring the Lord’s name.  Father   challenged me that He didn’t need me to do PR for Him.  My job was obedience.  It is my flesh that wants to look good, in the name of making God look good.  He’s not concerned with how other people “see” Him.  He just wants my complete obedience – He wants my heart to be wholly His – and in this case, He wanted me to be at peace, regardless of what was going on around me.

While I continued in my prayer closet, I kept feeling like I needed to check on my sister in law.  She had just been dealing with my other sister in law, working with her lawyer to sell property after the death of her husband.  That can trend to be very stressful.  (I’m not so sure it isn’t more stressful than dealing with a repo’ed van and foreclosure.)    😉

She picked up and before she even said hello, she said, “What is going on with you guys?!!  I spent all day yesterday with the lawyer, but YOU GUYS were on my heart and mind all day long.”  So, I told her.

She began to cry – she said, “Dawn, don’t you understand?  Dad and Mom went through this.  When they lost their business, they lost everything.  Don’t you remember?”  (Side note: YES! I remember – it added to my telling God I didn’t want to be an entrepreneur!!!) “If you guys go through this and don’t even give her the option of helping you, you will break her heart.  FURTHERMORE, her investor cashed out one of her investments a few weeks ago.  We didn’t understand why – when we called and asked him, he said, ‘Because I think there is a better investment coming up that she is going to want to participate in.’  DAWN – I think you and Jeff are the better investment!  And Mom will too.”  By this time, we were both crying – and she asked me to please consider it – to call Jeff and have him call her.

We hung up and I called Jeff – he and Gary were in the thick of praying and crying together, too.  (It was in the air, apparently)    🙂    I do need to pause here and say that Gary is one of the men we have in our lives that we have asked to speak freely into our lives.  We have specifically asked these men to stand with us, in prayer, willing to seek Father on our behalf and come to us should they sense in ANY way that we are walking into dangerous territory.  Even in light of all this, Gary still was telling Jeff that he felt that we were to press on – that there is great fruit to be gained for all this.

So, Jeff called his sister – and within just a little more than an hour, she and Mom were at our house, hugging and crying with us.  The funky thing about all this is – no one knew for sure why we were crying.  We just were.  Jeff went to the bank, check in hand, and made sufficient payment to stop the foreclosure.  (Amusingly ? they managed to find another $600 in fees that needed to be paid, on Monday, but that’s okay – that was a problem for another day.)   🙂

We also called that same day, to make arrangements to get our van back. (Even if it meant we couldn’t get it until Monday)   It was amazing to us that what seemed so…bleak, I guess, the day before, was coming to a quick resolution the next day.   That alone belongs to the realm of God!  Furthermore, we had gained such favor from the man who came to collect our van, that he brought it more than 1/2 way back!  What would normally have resulted in a trip of more than hour, only required 25 min on the road.  THAT is favor!  (Again, only from God!)

The thing we walked away with, from this “adventure” is that our Lord is more than faithful.  He is more than able.  He is attentive.   He is an ever present help in the time of trouble.

I must tell you, I really struggled deeply with sharing all this.  I struggled some (not too much) with how it would make us look to others.  (?? Like we looked like some wonder people BEFORE?  LOL  NOT)  I struggled with how it would make God look.  (Which He resolutely dealt with)  Most of all, I struggled with how it would make other people feel.  I have no doubt that there are those that have been in that place and the Lord didn’t rescue them.  What about them, Lord?  How do my words offer THEM comfort?  How do my words bring them a sense of Your goodness?

Guess what He told me?  “Your job is obedience.”  So, I’m sharing.  If this story discourages you or causes you to doubt the goodness of Father, PLEASE email me.  Let’s talk about it – let me pray with you about it. I don’t have any answers.  I just know the One who DOES.  (javamama then the number 7, at gmail dot com)

Now, here’s a final tidbit in this story – Thursday night, the bank called and told us that if we made this huge payment on Friday, it would save us thousands of dollars when we settled the foreclosure mess.  I hung up and laughed.  Friday morning, the Lord told nagged required me to share that with some precious friends who carry prayer burdens with/for me.

I did – with ZERO (Z.E.R.O.) faith that my sharing would make any difference. I shared it first thing in the morning. (Before any of this happened!)  I don’t know if it made a difference or not, but those friends – who were likely as unbelieving as I – had the shared privilege of seeing God move in a HUGE way in our lives.  I continue to pray that it would encourage them!!

I remain – a servant of the Most High – who finds one day in His court, better than a thousand elsewhere!     ~Dawn

5 Responses to “Now, Where Was I?”
  1. Violet says:

    So good to hear your voice again, and the wonderful way He continues to work in your life! You hit the nail on the head when you related that your job is obedience regardless of what others think. That’s something He’s constantly working with me on.

    Keep on keeping on and God bless you greatly on the journey!

  2. Elizabeth says:

    I am new to your blog…but SO happy to hear this good news. It is good to let your mom help too, by the way, it is scriptural. We finally went to my dad for a loan a few months ago (for many many reasons we did not want to, but finally decided we would rather owe him than the bank)…he was happy to help and we will pay him interest so that helps him too. It is wonderful to see GOD working in such a real way with your situation!! And your friends too will be blessed for the parts they played in the resolution. More prayers never hurt!!

  3. Press on, obedient, faithful servant of the High One!

  4. myderbe says:

    Oh, Dawn, wish I could hug you right now! I’m so excited to see God working.

    He is our Provider, and He will provide through whatever means He wants. In the past few months, He has compelled an unbeliever to give us a chunk of money, and He has provided exactly what we’ve needed. On paper, we do not have enough money, but every time, He provides every bit. It’s exciting to live this way!

  5. javadawn says:

    Hello Dear Ones,

    I’m supposed to be doing something very helpful to get Jeff ready to leave for the week (followed by #1 daughter on WED!!) but I saw your comments and couldn’t just say NOTHING. 🙂

    Thank you – and I’ll be back to respond more clearly tomorrow.

    Elizabeth a special welcome to you. I’m so glad you’re here – there are such incredible women that read here – be sure to follow their links back to their blogs. What a BLESSING they are.

    Md – It IS exciting to live this way. It’s almost like a drug – I don’t think I’d want it any other way. We call it “free-fall faith” in these here parts. 🙂

    Bye y’all – be back later!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: