Say What?

It was the February I was going to school full time, working full time and in order to keep my theatre scholarship, I needed to work part time on stage.

Because of this insane schedule – I was catching a bus to school at 6 am and coming home on the 9 pm bus OR finding someone to bring me home, if I was at the University later than that – I developed anemia. I would come home on Friday night, grab a bite to eat and go to bed….until Sunday afternoon. Then I would get up, eat everything in sight and do my home work. It was a very exciting existence. 🙄

One Friday night, falling into bed, I laid awake for some time whining talking…okay honesty requires me to say WHINING at the Lord. I was telling Him how unfair it was that other people could have a real life – dates and dinners out with friends and something other than work, school and sleep… I whined for awhile, begging Him for a friend and then fell asleep.

I awoke somewhere around 2 am – which was VERY surprising to me, since it wasn’t Sunday – but I awoke with a START from a dream. In this dream, I was marrying a tall dark, curly haired guy named Jeff. I had dated a dark, curly haired guy named Jeff in high school, but this Jeff was MUCH taller – but people grow, right? I never saw his face BUT throughout the dream, he had on a shirt that said “FFEJ” on the back of it.

I would have normally written the dream off, but just before I said “I do” I felt like the Lord said, “Here’s your friend.” I decided that this situation warranted a goodly amount of prayer. Beginning that day, I started EARNESTLY praying for this “FFEJ” that the Lord was showing me.

Skip forward to mid-April. I was sick as a dog, sitting in my little glass cage, called by normal human beings “The Box Office” when the next guy came in to sell tickets. You see, that was also part of being in the theatre department. You had to do a stint selling tickets for the current show.

This arrogant, cock-sure guy strode into my office, plopped himself down with an air of great resignation and promptly thrust his SIZE 11 1/2 SHOES ON THE TOP OF MY DESK. Of course, being the quiet, reserved, gentle hearted Dawn that I am, I simply smiled. (Hey – HEY – H.E.Y.!! I intended that to make you giggle, not laugh LIKE THAT!)

Once I got over my snit – and my revenge – we started to talk. We talked through his entire two hour stint – he called the office and volunteered to do another two hour stint and we talked some more. He made me laugh, he made me think, he was charming (??whodda thunk based on our less than auspicious beginnings) and he was CUTE.   :blush:   Too quickly the time ended and he went his way and I went mine.

The following Friday, I called into work to ask my boss something – no clue what, now. My Knight in Shining Armor thought I was going to be there again, so he had signed up for an extra rotation in the box office. When he realized my boss was speaking to me, he asked if he could speak to me, when she was done. She transfered the call and…he answered.

“Hey” One word and I was Cream of Dawn soup. Just hearing him answer the phone made my stomach flip flop. I couldn’t believe myself. ME. Tough, hard nose me was responding to the voice of a guy like a fool. “Hey yourself. What’s up?” “Selling tickets for the show tonight, you coming?” DUH – he was the lead, like I WASN’T going to be there? “Sure am – coming with my Mom and a friend.” “Good, I’m looking forward to seeing you there.”

Mom, Rose and I had a wonderful dinner – that I paid for, as bribery to get them to go to the show with me, so I didn’t look pathetic going on my own. 🙂 As we pulled up to the University, I saw Jeff in the parking lot getting stuff from his…I guess you could have called it a car. 😉 I called out, “Hey – Jeff!” He looked up and smiled, waved distractedly (which is nothing to another theatre student, everyone knows you’re putting your game face on at that point) and he turned to walk back in.

There on the back of his shirt was “FFEJ” Mom and Rose said I lost all color to my face. They said I gasped and stood there with my mouth hanging open, in the middle of the street. All I know is that the cacophony of screaming in my head was VERY loud.

While he was very cute, very funny, very cute, very smart, very funny and very opinionated, he was also very flirtatious. He sniffed around girls like I sniff the jars of beans in the coffee shop!! There was NO WAY he could be the “FFEJ” of my dream – the “FFEJ” I’d been praying about since February – the “FFEJ” that was to be my friend. N.O.W.A.Y. N.O.H.O.W.

But as we all know, God has an incredible sense of humor and not only was he THE FFEJ of all those other things, he was also the FFEJ that would finally stand up to my temper, my mouth and my mind. It felt like coming home. I am just enough shorter than he is, that I fit under his chin. He stands behind me and puts his chin on my head to this day. From the first time he ever did that, I felt like a puzzle piece finding the piece that it fits in perfectly. I don’t know how Father did it, but He certainly did it well.

To this day – Jeff is my favorite person in the whole world (most days, just in case you’re reading this, Mr Nosy) 😉 he still makes me laugh, he still challenges my mind (and kicks my mental bum!), he is still cute and until his hair cut the other day still had dark curly hair. (See honey, I didn’t say a word about all the gray these days – will you buy me a mocha??!!) 😀

Remember your beginnings – remember how the Lord brought you together. Remember how you felt about him when you met. Remember how he made you want to be with him all the time. And then tell him.

Jeff once told me that a man can do anything if he knows his woman is behind him. He has told me many times that the whole world can be against him, but if I’m behind him, if I’m cheering him on and telling him I know he can do it, he can conquer any dragon.

Ladies, do not discount the amount of influence, nay the POWER of your words. That is how God wired our men – to both want and need to hear our words of affirmation. Remember Scripture tells us that we have the power of life and death in our tongues – OH HOW TRUE that is for our men. Tell your man he is wonderful.

I would even go so far as to challenge you to ask the Lord what you need to tell your man. Don’t try to just throw something out there. He isn’t stupid (we already established that in my first tip, remember???) 😉 he will know you’re patronizing him -although if you’ve been really lax at encouraging him with your words, he may not care…. (PLEASE don’t ask me how I know this to be true) But seek the heart of the Lord, ask Him what words would bless your man most. Then say them. Again and again and again, if need be.

Our men run into plenty of discouragement at being men of God, if one word (okay, sacrifice a whole sentence, even) will give your man the strength and desire to do one more battle for the Kingdom…then speak, woman, speak!!!

14 Responses to “Say What?”
  1. Susan PA says:

    What a wonderful story! 🙂

    Almost as wonderful as mine. 🙂

    No, seriously, I loved reading this. Great advice.

    Thank you. Susan PA

  2. Susan PA says:

    By the way, what does FFEJ stand for? Is that his initials, or…??


  3. javadawn says:

    (Dear Susan, when you read this, you’re going to groan – it’s Jeff backwards.) 😀 (It’s okay – I understand. It’s that being 45-ish having babies thing, huh?) 😆

  4. April says:

    Lovely. Since yesterday was my sweet love’s birthday, I was being especially thankful for him. I was thinking about how I asked God specifically for all the things he is, and how I didn’t expect that it would be HIM at all, yet it was! I’m so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, soooooooooo glad that God is wiser than I!

    Now I’ll get offline and tell Dennis that again. Thanks.

  5. Michelle says:

    When John and I announced we were getting married, we were met with “Well, duh, tell us something we don’t know.” (Apparently my family had this all figured out before we did.) After that, my dad started laughing, really laughing. “Of all my children, you are the LAST one I’d imagine marrying a farmer.” (Me who has the TERRIBLE allergies, living on a farm, in the middle of cornfields, with mice running willy nilly into our home every fall and dirty pigs and..and…and…)

    To this day, my favorite compliment to give John is that second only to sending His Son to atone for my sins on the cross, God showed his love for me in that he chose John to be my husband…God’s perfect provision for my life. AND I MEAN EVERY WORD OF IT.

  6. Elizabeth says:

    Lovely story, thanks for sharing!! I would guess you probably pay attention to dreams now, huh? Glad it all worked out for you well!

  7. Susan PA says:

    😀 Would never have guessed that one! Well, not for a LOOOOOONNNNGG time. 😀

    I take comfort that my hubby didn’t guess either!

    🙂 Susan

  8. cbgrace says:

    Awe.. I loved reading this. Funny, my mom is the one who had a dream (years before) and told me my husband would have black hair…

  9. javadawn says:

    Thanks all. You ladies are just so kind!

    Hey April, Happy Birthday to your Sweetie!!! 🙂 What wonderful treat did you make for him? (I know you girl – you’re always making good stuff. I know because I’ve used some of your recipes.)

    Susan, I told you you’d groan!! 😀

  10. Javaman says:

    (*From Javajeff*)
    Of course, I’ll buy you a mocha, my Love.

    Here’s a cool addendum to her story, ladies: One night in the February before we met, I was feeling extremely lonely, extremely unfulfilled and extremely tired of getting drunk and pretending to enjoy it. Right around 2 A.M., I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself (something I still do all too well), when I heard an audible voice, clear as day, say, “Jeffrey”. I sat bolt upright in bed, checked my radio – off. Checked my parent’s room – asleep. Checked down the hall – no leftover sisters or friends asleep in the living room, talking in their sleep. Nobody but me and God. So I asked Him, “OK, what was that about?” He said, “That’s someone who needs a friend.” I said, “Cool,” and went to sleep figuring it would be ten years or so before I met this person. After all, I had a lot of plans and they didn’t include intense relationships. I swiftly forgot about this encounter. Fast forward to the aforementioned April meeting. On our second date, during a pause in the conversation, Dawn says, “Jeffrey” in the EXACT SAME TONE, PITCH AND INTONATION AS THE DISEMBODIED PHANTOM VOICE THAT WOKE ME UP!

    I freaked.

    Dawn was completely perplexed why I was slammed up against the opposite door telling her she needed to go…I needed to go…we both needed to go…goodnight it’s been fun.

    Neither of us could pinpoint a date on the calendar, but we’re pretty certain that the night she prayed for a friend is the same night I heard her voice – in my bedroom – two months before I even knew she existed!

  11. javadawn says:

    Ooooh, aren’t you the cutest thing on two feet?? 🙂


  12. April says:

    He lucked out — it was also his last day of MBA classes. So he got a med. rare ribeye steak with grilled mushrooms and onions, a baked potato and salad, AND chocolate cake.
    And peanut clusters. He loves his peanut clusters.

  13. April says:

    You’re BOTH too cute! I’m almost embarrassed to be on the same blog with you! GET A ROOM! 🙂

  14. javadawn says:

    😆 What a GREAT idea April!! 😀

    (Dennis’ dinner sounds FABULOUS!!)

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