The importance of speaking the same language

He says, “I’d rather we not.”  She hears, “My preference is that we don’t do that, but we could….”  He means, “I do NOT want to do that, there’s football on.”

He says, “We can do that this weekend, if you’d like.”  She hears, “Sometime this weekend I will make that a priority for you.”  He means, “If you remind me, I’ll make time to do that sometime this weekend – in between football games.”

He says, “What are you thinking?”  She hears, “Tell me everything that is going on in your brain.”  He means, “It’s quiet between us, say something so I know you’re not mad at me.”


She says, “Wow, that trash is FULL.”  He hears, “Hmmm, someone should take that trash out –  in between football games.”  She means, “Honey, could you please come take the trash out?”

She says, “Man, Jenos has THE BEST chicken picatta, don’t they?”  He hears, “Food.”  She means, “It would be really nice if we could go out for dinner.”

She says, *nothing*  He hears, “Wow, she must be busy looking for a chicken picatta recipe, she’s been pretty quiet for the past few days.”  She means, “I am SO upset with you.”

Speaking the same language is very important in a family.  Last night, for example, I was listening to someone on television and they said something that they thought was amusing – and I did not.  “And she’s a comedienne.”  (followed by a deep resigned sigh)  One of the children responded with, “Well, that doesn’t instantly qualify them for having a bad sense of humor, though.”   I looked at the child in question and said, “Uh, no, but it would be nice if it DID qualify them for having a good sense of humor.”  “Why?”  “Because that’s what they get paid for.”  Turns out after a few minutes of total communication chaos, they thought I said that they were a Canadian, not a comedienne.  See?  One could offend an entire nation through miscommunication. It wouldn’t have helped NAFTA one bit!

Likewise, it’s difficult to talk on the same level if we don’t have a common basis for that communication.  Think Tower of Babel.  Can you imagine?

When I think of the Tower, I remember when Jeff and I first were married and we started going to Clark family dinner each Sunday.  I had to take Tylenol, in order to go.  While my family was never a quiet bunch, they had NOTHING on the Clarks.  Neither in volume, nor in content, nor in quantity of simultaneous disparate conversation.  It was like conversational mixed nuts! (And yes, I’d call them that to their faces.)    😆     I would invariably come home with a headache.  (It took me a full year to get used to it.  Now, I can yammer with the best of them, hopping in and out of different conversations like kids doing Double Dutch Fusion.  But then again, we’ve been married 25 yrs.)

Because having a common definition is an important part of speaking the same language AND because I’ve thrown the term “Kingdom Family/Families” around, I want to make certain that we share a common definition of this concept.

Just because your family are all Believers, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a Kingdom Family.  Just because you attend church doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a Kingdom Family.  Just because you know the Word, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a Kingdom Family.

This past year, in the midst of some very difficult times, having no other answers but God, we THREW ourselves into the Word.  There were some days we did nothing but sit and read the Word – alone, aloud to ourselves, aloud to the family or even the dog.  From this season, we began to see some patterns, in the Word, that seemed to mark those that we began calling “Kingdom Families.”  So, we gave ourselves to learning more about what it means to be a Kingdom Family.

Now, after over a year of studying and seeking wisdom/direction about this, we feel like we are getting to the place that we can share with others the things we saw and learned.  (We are finally getting past that “I’m still processing that.” stage)  THAT is what I’d like to do for the next few days.  That way, when I say something about being a Kingdom Family, you don’t hear, “Gingham Chamley”  – even if it would improve our conversation!

Sabbath Blessings, my dears.

3 Responses to “The importance of speaking the same language”
  1. Brian Barker says:

    I agree with the tower of Babel comment.

    In today’s World the language problem is still relevant!

    If you have time, please check
    as well as

  2. Shannon M says:

    What an excellent toic for pondering. I just love when you share what you’re pondering!

  3. javadawn says:

    Brian, I had no idea Esperanto was still up for consideration. I’ll have to take a look at Lernu and see what all is there. Thanks for the link.

    Shannon, well, darlin’ it’s been stewing a while and you may not find that it’s just a pondering anymore. 🙂 And you know me, I’m always so humble and subtle about what I believe. LOL Good to see, btw! 🙂

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