Of Used Shoes and Words
I hate buying used shoes. I don’t mind used clothes, dishes or any other number of miscellaneous items. (I have even purchased used under-garments (with great discretion) without a moment’s disgruntlement…but shoes!) For some reason, shoes, more than anything, mold themselves to the original wearer’s foot and since I tend to walk places that most normal human beings do not, I find that their shoes tend to be very uncomfortable to me.
They seem to pinch in strange places and squeeze me, so that it feels like I’m trapped. I never quite get the feeling that I could stand up and dance in them, but rather find I’m relegated to a slow plod, clomping noisily about rather than sailing effortlessly to my destination. Life in used shoes seems slow and unlovely.
We write. I refuse to say that we write for a living, because Father has made it very clear that is not the case, instead we write because it is our assignment from the Lord. This is not an attempt to assess whether we do it poorly, well, or somewhere in between. We do it. That is as it is, for the merit of this conversation.
Recently, I have found that doing so is much like putting on used shoes. I pick up someone else’s words, try them on and move around in them, trying to find the place that they are comfortable. I can’t find that place. I find instead, that at odd times during the day – staring at my screen – I am totally lost in thought of which of my own words I wish I had “on”, rather than those belonging to someone else.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I enjoy looking at, reading and even cleaning up other people’s shoes…uh, words. I delight in it, in fact! I’m finding however, that the time has come again, for me to purpose to start messing around with my own….words, that is, not shoes.
So while used shoes can be serviceable, over time, the reality is they were never formed, nor shaped, for me. Neither are someone else’s words. I can make them look better, I can take them and clean them up – but in the long run, they belong to the original owner and nothing I can do will ever make them mine. Here, however, in my own little corner in my own little blog, they can be whatever I want them to be! (Most SINCERE apologies to Messrs Rodgers and Hammerstein) So, my gift to myself this summer is a return to some blogging.
Should you happen in and read this – please don’t take this the wrong way – I am writing, again, because it’s time to start dancing, instead of plodding, all the while every inch of me uncomfortable, being crammed into something that doesn’t fit properly. SO, if you join me here, know you are MOST welcome! (I love having guests!) BUT, if it’s just me, that is okay too – it will be a joy to just put my own words on again.